Are you sick of getting bullied? Well, you’re in luck– some unbullyable bully will explain how you can finally level up and not be a loser Yasmine Modaresi (she/her)…
Tag: satire
The Love Doctor is Here: Relationship Advice from a Certified Professional
Adam Wallace answers various contributors’ questions about a crazy little thing called love Adam Wallace (he/him) // Humour Editor Andy Postilla (he/him) // Online Artwork Q: Recently, my girlfriend…
New Polls Indicate Everyone is an Irrational Moron, Except Me
Polls indicate that British Columbians in three separate age brackets have nothing more important to do than to wholeheartedly disagree with what one another. Ashlea McRae (she/her) // Contributor Shilo…
CSU Board Votes Everything They Do is Fine Forever
In a stunning turn of events, the Capilano Student’s Union board has voted to decide that they should be completely absolved of any responsibility to actually do their jobs. Adam…
Top 5 Gayest Books
“What? I’m not homophobic, I’m an ally!” Ren Zhang (they/them) // Contributor Millie Beatch (she/her) // Web Illustrator It’s Halloween month, and that means the gays are coming out to…
Dear music students: knock off that dang racket!
Adam Stothard (he/him) // Virtuosic Scientist Maren Brophy (she/her) // Illustrator I sit here, perfecting my diorama, and you have the gall to invade my ears with your jazzy-wazzy nonsense?…
The CapU Guide to Branding Yourself a Socialist While Having Rich Parents and Not Actually Doing Anything Socialist at All
Yasmine Modaresi (she/her) // Crew Writer Cameron Skorulski (he/him) // Illustrator So, you’re a sheltered rich kid, and you’ve realized that the Gen Z population is really left-wing. You hear…
“No one could’ve predicted this,” says CapU student on academic probation for lifting an entire essay from Wikipedia
Joss Arnott // Staff Writer Thea Pham // Illustration NORTH VANCOUVER, BC — “No one could’ve predicted this,” said Kyle Geiger, an Interdisciplinary Studies student at Capilano University (CapU) in…
BREAKING: GUY IN ONLINE PHILOSOPHY 102 CLASS NEEDS TO “SHUT THE FUCK UP”
Joss Arnott // Staff Writer Thea Pham // Illustration Local Capilano University (CapU) first-year general studies student Barry Rich reportedly just mansplained Plato’s Allegory of the Cave to his entire…