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Humour

Dear music students: knock off that dang racket!

Posted on September 1, 2024September 1, 2024 by Editor-In-Chief

Adam Stothard (he/him) // Virtuosic Scientist Maren Brophy (she/her) // Illustrator I sit here, perfecting my diorama, and you have the gall to invade my ears with your jazzy-wazzy nonsense?…

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The CapU Guide to Branding Yourself a Socialist While Having Rich Parents and Not Actually Doing Anything Socialist at All

Posted on September 1, 2024September 1, 2024 by Editor-In-Chief

Yasmine Modaresi (she/her) // Crew Writer Cameron Skorulski (he/him) // Illustrator           So, you’re a sheltered rich kid, and you’ve realized that the Gen Z population is really left-wing. You hear…

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Tips and Tricks for Saving Money on Campus at Capilano University

Posted on September 1, 2024September 1, 2024 by Sean Finan

Sean Finan (any) // Crew Writer Kyla Seguiban (she/her) // Illustrator It’s no secret that the Capilano University administration snatches every penny they can from impressionable students — hungry for…

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“No one could’ve predicted this,” says CapU student on academic probation for lifting an entire essay from Wikipedia

Posted on April 8, 2021April 8, 2021 by Joss Arnott

Joss Arnott // Staff Writer Thea Pham // Illustration NORTH VANCOUVER, BC — “No one could’ve predicted this,” said Kyle Geiger, an Interdisciplinary Studies student at Capilano University (CapU) in…

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BREAKING: GUY IN ONLINE PHILOSOPHY 102 CLASS NEEDS TO “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

Posted on March 13, 2021March 13, 2021 by Joss Arnott

Joss Arnott // Staff Writer Thea Pham // Illustration Local Capilano University (CapU) first-year general studies student Barry Rich reportedly just mansplained Plato’s Allegory of the Cave to his entire…

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Cyberpunk 2077 Release Gives Local Man Hope He Can Still Be Loved Despite Being Deeply Broken

Posted on February 5, 2021February 6, 2021 by Sarah Rose

Sarah Rose // Features Editor Valeriya Kim // Illustration Mike Jones, 29, is one of the millions of players eager to play the long-awaited Cyberpunk 2077 since it’s announcement at…

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The Beige and the Bold

Posted on January 1, 2021January 1, 2021 by Joss Arnott

After months of prolonged isolation, CapU’s business students announce plans to continue wearing chinos and dockers “indefinitely” amidst an unprecedented rise in Digital Peacocking  Joss Arnott // Staff Writer Valeriya…

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Five Disney+ IP’s To Absolutely Not Pirate This Holiday Season

Posted on December 2, 2020December 2, 2020 by Erik Ertel

Erik Ertel // Contributor Ethan Woronko // Illustration Olaf’s Frozen Adventure (2017)  Found as a playlist of videos on YouTube in double digit resolutions, this fun little short garnered a…

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Local Landlord “Very Confident” He Can Rent Condemned Shithole To Students “for like $1450”

Posted on December 2, 2020December 16, 2020 by Sinead Grewcock

Sinead Grewcock // Contributor Thea Pham // Illustration Vancouver landlords have been hit hard during these uncertain and transient times. The pandemic has forced landlords across the lower mainland to…

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