Fans of prestige television are overjoyed with the great news.
Jude DeVille (he/him) // Contributor
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Professor Dave Matthews of BIO 333 was indicted last week for the manufacturing and distribution of methamphetamine This prompted eagle-eyed students to catch an ‘easter-egg’ reference to the hit AMC drama Breaking Bad, which similarly is about a high school science teacher who built a meth empire.
The indictment has caught the attention of Hollywood North (aka Vancouver), as Matthews is now rumored to be in the running to star in the Canadian remake of Breaking Bad. The new show is said to be a shot-for-shot remake with the one exception that Saul Goodman would be claymation.
The whistleblower was found to be Matthew’s brother-in-law, who claims to have realized the connection while sitting on the toilet (confirmed via photographic evidence). The North Vancouver RCMP fears that this may start a domino effect of prestige TV copycat criminals. Similar cases include racketeering charges brought against an Italian-Canadian student who was known to enjoy various cured meats, including (but not limited to) Gabagool.
The shitty Tim Horton’s in the Birch Cafeteria was also found to be an undercover laboratory for the operation, as it’s apparently easier to cook and sell meth than to put ice cubes in hot coffee.