“What? I’m not homophobic, I’m an ally!” Ren Zhang (they/them) // Contributor Millie Beatch (she/her) // Web Illustrator It’s Halloween month, and that means the gays are coming out to…
Tag: satire
Dear music students: knock off that dang racket!
Adam Stothard (he/him) // Virtuosic Scientist Maren Brophy (she/her) // Illustrator I sit here, perfecting my diorama, and you have the gall to invade my ears with your jazzy-wazzy nonsense?…
The CapU Guide to Branding Yourself a Socialist While Having Rich Parents and Not Actually Doing Anything Socialist at All
Yasmine Modaresi (she/her) // Crew Writer Cameron Skorulski (he/him) // Illustrator So, you’re a sheltered rich kid, and you’ve realized that the Gen Z population is really left-wing. You hear…
“No one could’ve predicted this,” says CapU student on academic probation for lifting an entire essay from Wikipedia
Joss Arnott // Staff Writer Thea Pham // Illustration NORTH VANCOUVER, BC — “No one could’ve predicted this,” said Kyle Geiger, an Interdisciplinary Studies student at Capilano University (CapU) in…
BREAKING: GUY IN ONLINE PHILOSOPHY 102 CLASS NEEDS TO “SHUT THE FUCK UP”
Joss Arnott // Staff Writer Thea Pham // Illustration Local Capilano University (CapU) first-year general studies student Barry Rich reportedly just mansplained Plato’s Allegory of the Cave to his entire…
Cyberpunk 2077 Release Gives Local Man Hope He Can Still Be Loved Despite Being Deeply Broken
Sarah Rose // Features Editor Valeriya Kim // Illustration Mike Jones, 29, is one of the millions of players eager to play the long-awaited Cyberpunk 2077 since it’s announcement at…
The Beige and the Bold
After months of prolonged isolation, CapU’s business students announce plans to continue wearing chinos and dockers “indefinitely” amidst an unprecedented rise in Digital Peacocking Joss Arnott // Staff Writer Valeriya…
Five Disney+ IP’s To Absolutely Not Pirate This Holiday Season
Erik Ertel // Contributor Ethan Woronko // Illustration Olaf’s Frozen Adventure (2017) Found as a playlist of videos on YouTube in double digit resolutions, this fun little short garnered a…
The Top Trend Predictions of 2019
Goodbye popping Tide Pods, yodelling children, Ariana Grande’s Thank U, Next and pictures of eggs. Just about the only thing predictable about 2018 trends was their complete and utter obscurity. So…