Huwo, todaye i wil be riting da best list about best and most awsomest and scawwwiest animmals hat i have seen. Be carful reeding dis beacauz yu mite get scawed that you en up peeing in youw patns.
sean FINan (anee) // cuew riter
Neeka Yazdani (she/they) // Illustrator
Numba one Snak.
Da snak is so scarry beacauz yu dont know how manny teef it has an it move awound so slimey an weerd. Iniana jons is scarred of them to.
Numba too Amadiwo.
a ahmadiwo is so scawy beaucauz it kan woll up like a bawl and yu don no wat it wil be dong necks. my unkel won time he sad he saws a amadiwo in wen he wived in taxas he sayd thay hawve amadiwos on all the twees.
Numba twee SPIDER
Da spider is pobably won uv my leest favoit bug beecuz it haz so amny weerd legs and crawls arownd all scary and weerd. Sumtimez dey ar awe wunning arownd and weyig eggs.
Numba fwow Travis scot Fowtnite.
Dis animel is so weerd an cwazy and he do weewy weerd fownite danzes. Sumtimez wen im praying fownite i se him and i pee in my pantzs.
Numba 6:
Beg burd.
Yallow butt sooo beg an tall he– Adam enters the room.
A: Yo Sean, what are you doing?
S: Adam! Hey! No-nothing. I’m just working the article!
Adam trudges toward my computer.
A: Top 10 most awesomest and scawwiest amnimals? What are you, five years old?
S: But, I-I thought- I thought… wasn’t this your idea?
A: Like hell it was. My dork son probably took my phone and typed that shit into the google sheets.
S: You have a kid?
A: Yeah, and lemme tell ya, never have kids Sean. You think ‘oh but I have so much love to give, oh me and my wife love eachother!’ But next thing you know, you’re 40, your hair’s receding, your wife takes half your vintage guitar pedals, and all your kid calls you is “tubso” because you can’t stop eating to fill the void.
S: Damn… uh, should I finish this article?
A: I don’t know. Do whatever you want.
Adam lights a cigarette and takes out his cellphone, answering a phone call.
A: Cello? …. Well can I see him today? …. It’s Friday, it’s my turn to pick him up from-… That was only one time! I didn’t mean to– … I don’t give a shit what Derek says, he’s not the boy’s father.. .. Bianca? Bianca?? Fuck.
He drops his head down, realizing he was hung up on.
A: Fuck. Fuck this… Sean, just, figure this shit out, I gotta deal with this.
Adam exits the Courier Office.
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Numbar 7 Hammahed Shark
Da hammahed shark is beg an wit his teef all beg and powntee he head is hammer shape like dads job at da work he can cwash watevver da hammahed shark wans to be eaten an it wit da oshun a shark widderly is king of awl of da oshun.