Skip to content
Capilano Courier
Menu
  • Home
  • Sections
    • News
    • Features & The Profile
    • Arts & Culture
    • Letters
    • Humour
    • Video Production
  • About
    • Advertise
    • Contribute
  • Meet the Crew
  • Online Issues
  • Events
  • EIC Election
Menu

Silver She and Me

Posted on April 1, 2025March 29, 2025 by Editor-In-Chief
Yasmine Modaresi (she/her) // News Editor

I saw my reflection looking back at me, disappointed. 

Reflection me, silver she behind the glass me was the actualized me, the ideal me, the best of me— a figment of dream me.

Myself beside the silver glass she– mad me, hysterical me, insane me, was not she. 

My ways preserved, unquivering and chronic frazzled chaos— ugly.

Her, a tranquil, composed, sane beauty.

Madness is the lover of genius— the muse of creativity.

But admiration for such turbulence falters when the exotic mania of madness is a black cloak,

shrouding the persona of depravity within.

Yet I press my hand to hers, 

Clammy warm, flesh brushed against inanimate cold,

Blatantly divided yet unified, a yin and yang of bliss and suffering.

Me, the hollow-eyed shell of life despite a rhythmically beating heart of lifeforce stamina,

Her, vibrant as a deity of fertility on spring solstice, yet only a hallucination of livelihood.

Does she pity me? 

Surely, for she is the me that I could never achieve.

The figment of a dream me gazes unquiveringly at me— me, unactualized me— drinking me, detesting me, pitying me, 

Gaze radiant as a throbbing star, 

Near in proximity but separated, off light years away.

Me, a wandering ember, lost in a smoke cloaked labyrinth,

Ash clinging to my mortal skin like a mocking prophecy.

Hand pressed hard atop shattering glass, 

If I stepped through, would I kill the despised me? The real me? Become the dream me?

The Oroborus devours and destroys itself, a sacrifice and a renaissance,

Resurrected anew only through ritualistic suicide.

Category: Literature

Post navigation

← top ten most AWESOEMIST an scawiest amnimals
Life of a Living Statue →

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Upcoming Tabling Hours: Thursdays, 12:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m., at either the Learning Commons entrance (LB 126) or Birch Cafeteria.

Latest News

  • CapU Community Questions Administration’s Neutrality as Chancellor’s Campaign Contradicts University’s Stated Values
    Chancellor carrying forward the university’s reconciliation commitments. B.C. Conservative leadership candidate vowing to repeal […]
  • Presidents’ Dinner Raises over $270,000 for Student Housing After Last-Minute Rename
    Student brings housing crisis to center stage at Capilano University event Asmi Toor Sogi (she/her) // Contributor What is usually known as […]
  • CapU Students to Monitor FIFA Impacts in New Summer Course
    Five instructors, a conference with global participation and publication of findings with the Capilano Courier Laura Morales Padilla […]
  • CSU President and VP Finance Removed from Office Due to Alleged Misconduct
    “Improper use” of in camera proceedings led to two executives being removed five days later Laura Morales Padilla (she/her) // EIC In the […]
  • Meet CapU’s New President
    An interview with Dr. Jason Dewling Ben Taylor // Crew Writer (he/him)  Capilano Courier: Questions for President March 11, 2026   […]
  • Yuri Fulmer Pt. 2
    Students reactions to the political aspirations of CapU’s chancellor Ben Taylor // Crew Writer (he/him) Andrei Gueco (he/him) // […]
Video Production
On Friday 17, we hosted the Capilano Courier Awards with a very special guest speaker—Irwin Oostindie, former Courier crew member and winner of the 2025 CapU Alumni Awards! He shared about his journey as a student organizer and activist in the late 1980s, the role of print and media in knowledge mobilization, and what we can do as a student publication to join existing efforts to build Vancouver as an inclusive city.

In this episode, listen to Irwin talk about journalism, witnessing, and how to mobilize communities through storytelling and media.
Irwin Oostindie on Journalism and Witnessing | The Capilano Courier Awards
Subscribe
What even is a Zine? Mia shows us a behind the scene of how this little publication comes together, the vision behind it, and how to become a paid contributor of the C.C. Crumb!
Indigenous power means something different to every student, but it always begins with voice, community, and truth. Hear what CapU students had to say.
What does campus clean-up day look like?
© 2026 Capilano Courier | Powered by Minimalist Blog WordPress Theme