Eugenia de Coss (she/her) // Contributor
Dear Dad,
You were a father that provided the best opportunities, financial support and parental guidance. You were an amazing father for your family and a respectful man, except that you needed to take more care of yourself. You forgot to take your medications and go to follow-ups with the doctors.
You made sure that we had the best care when being sick. You ended up being the sickest of all. You left the world on a weekend, without any red flags or goodbyes. I wasn’t aware of your real health status until clues came with the days: the bloodwork request paper laying on the bottom drawer, the comments from your friends of your passing and the medical tests that showed something was off. You should have understood that you needed to be healthy to keep providing support. Your death could have been prevented.
I wish that things would have gone differently in your balance of family and work. Work was equally as valuable as your own health and without any ineffective shortcuts. A supplement doesn’t change a trip to the doctor or a medication prescription.
On the bright side, I witnessed your perseverance of hard work and self-confidence. You never let any challenges or mistakes shatter your goals. I have always admired that age was never a limit in your goals, even when you also had family responsibility.
Being optimistic is a desirable but dangerous skill. You lack understanding of potential events or illness. You are the one who had the worst luck, stuck in the wrong time and place. It only takes one mistake to lose everything you have.
You have shown me immense love. Unconditional love that no lover or pet can provide. A warm feeling where there is almost forgiveness, open listening and willingness for mutual understanding. You have shown that the love of a father to his family is a privilege that shines like gold and is deeply endlessly cherished. Your father figure provided a way of love that no other person can produce. I feel nostalgia, sadness, gratitude and love when I think about your efforts and your example of caring for your family with the best quality possible.
I remembered you as a dad who was willing to work more hours to get more income for food, health care and better educational opportunities.
You approach work with resiliency and adaptability through hard times, such as the beginning of the pandemic. You occasionally had your bitter reactions but stepped up to make up for a solution. I could tell that you always strive for self-development and care for your family.
Even though I have an immense wish that you could have slowed down your work life and took better care of your health, I will always have you as a primary example. The image of a man who was trying his hardest to provide for the people he loved. You always tried to improve your life and engage deeply with others while keeping priorities in the first place.
You managed to cherish the family moments that we shared, such as the hikes to the forest or watching movies in the living room.
Keeping a soft remainder of top priorities, including working hard enough in school and work. Yet, you always had a generous understanding when things got complicated until you made a bad judgement. I will always admire how you had a balance between achievements and compassion.
Your coworkers and some of your friends might have forgotten about you, if they haven’t already. But your family will remember you, every moment in your life as the image of a man who worked hard to love and take care of his family. He did what he thought was best.
Love,
your daughter