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With Canadian university enrolment decreasing and interest rates steadily rising, business leaders are looking to academic institutions to see how they will brave the storm, and just how the market will react. With many different strategies across the country being presented, Capilano University in North Vancouver has shockingly shifted from facing a $25 million deficit budget to emerging as a profit leader in the current market. Today, with the new support of Durex and Goodreads, the now extremely profitable Capilano Courier is going to break down the three ways CapU has established itself as an expert in profitability. Thank you to Durex and the Good People™ at Goodreads for today’s list.
- Leveraging existing platforms and consumer relationships
In what can only be described as a stroke of genius, CapU’s Head of Strategic Planning, Assessment & Institutional Effectiveness Torin Savlord took a hard look at the business’ assets, current services and consumers to realize the hugely untapped potential within the business: its mass communication platform. “With an existing model that already had thousands of consumers, it was an effortless pivot to allow paid sponsors of content,” said Savlord in a recent interview. Offering companies what social media cannot (a strong relationship of trust with information provided), academic institutions are in a unique position to guarantee paid sponsors a large population of brand loyal consumers as well as an education that enforces “economically beneficial opinions” to sponsoring companies. With their new model, CapU’s revenue has nearly doubled in the first quarter alone. Savlord comments, “Current sponsors of information content have been over the moon with the effectiveness of prelecture ad reads, adjusted course content and perhaps our most successful product offered: fully funded research studies which allows sponsors to be in the driver’s seat of what exact information they want shared with consumers.” He then checks his durable Rolex watch, putting on his stylish Jimmy Choo sunglasses and informing us he had to take his next meeting at Cactus Club, which is currently serving a new orange glazed chicken this fall which he did not want to miss.
- Selling user information
This strategy is nothing new to business leaders and has been a long established revenue source for companies for over one hundred years. However, academic institutions—in their woke arrogance—have been a holdout during this time instead of leveraging the swaths of beneficial data they hold. It wasn’t until the current CapU senior leadership team took the first sensible and courageous step to actually making a profit and getting real about business that other universities followed suit. While there are still some liberal cesspools of universities that are positioning themselves on this topic as outspoken opponents, it is clear they are only doing so in a desperate attempt to draw attention to their shitty schools. With an initial recorded revenue of triple their profit in 2024, it is clear that this bold display of action in the information age is what will continue the massively huge success of CapU.
- Supporting unstable governments in target region
A classic move by only the greats. Most narrow-minded Canadian businesses will say there aren’t governments to disrupt in their industry. But, it’s the strategic genius of CapU’s leadership team who realized they quite literally have a consumer base with a government system: the Student Union. Who is going to challenge annual budgets, massive cost reductions, cutbacks in course content or any other financial strategies when they’re too busy infighting? Exactly. Don’t try to enforce penalties on government officials, it’s a useless waste of resources. They’re helping you. Let weapons be brought to campus, work to reinstate members who are instigators, allow intimidation and buy yourself a one way ticket to a large population of consumers too checked out to care, led by greed-driven individuals who wreak havoc without you having to lift a finger. And, the best part? Not only are they distracting the population, they’re actively weakening the financial leverage the consumer base possesses to take up your time complaining about stuff while reducing your sweet sweet profits. Another stroke of genius from CapU. God bless ‘em.
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