Multiple Reports of a Violent Creature, Officials deem it ‘Non-Threatening’
Kayla Price (She/her/they) // Contributor
Rachel Lu (she/her) // Crew Illustrator
Drinking with friends in the bird sanctuary is a common activity for bright-eyed freshmen living in residence, but things are not all as they seem in our local forests. Rumours have circulated about a ‘solitary creature’ with ‘an otherworldly stare’ living in North Vancouver for some time, and those who’ve lived to share their sightings have described an unruly entity of the night.
Last year, Lynn Valley resident Peyton Bridgers was riding through the C32 bike trail loop just after 9 o’clock when she bore witness to a pair of “piercing white eyes” from the far end of the woods. She thought it was just a large bear moving in the distance until the two made eye contact. “That was no bear I was staring at… Hell, that was no animal I’ve ever seen before, and I’ve lived here all my life!” Bridgers described the strange creature’s stare as “rivalling a car’s headlights” with their brightness, and looking at her “with no visible pupils” for a long moment before the large mass darted off into the night. She filed a wildlife report with a provincial conservation officer shortly after the encounter, but was promptly dismissed as having seen an unrelated reflection. No one was sent to search the area as the alleged anomaly was deemed a non-threat.
Another sighting was reported in January of this year, but authorities failed to find any trace of the encounter Sam and Donna Stevens described to the Courier in an interview. The couple was driving along Mount Seymour Parkway through mild snowfall, “about a half hour after getting off [the evening’s] last ferry,” as Sam Stevens described, going on to say, “That deer came out of nowhere! It jumped in the middle of the road, right from that trail entrance at the foot of Lillooet Road, near the University… The snow was fresh, and with how slippery it was, I just couldn’t react fast enough to dodge it. The poor thing…”
The couple turned into the Superstore parking lot and walked back to assess the injured deer when they witnessed an intensely disturbing altercation. Donna Stevens described the dreaded cryptid as standing “at least 8 feet tall” and that it was attacking “what looked like a bobcat” over the deer carcass. “That poor cat didn’t stand a chance against that mutated bear! It was ginormous,” she said, adding that the creature acted “very aggressive for a black bear so close to humans.” To the couple’s horror, the being reared up on its back legs and “slammed its paws down” into the bobcat’s back, “ripping the predator to shreds” before their very eyes.
The two reported the violent scrimmage and drove back the next morning to investigate further, but the road had since been snowed over and subsequently plowed, leaving no trace of the blood spilt the night before. No police or conservation officers were ever sent to explore the area.
Upon receiving these fragments of information, our trail began to run dry on this white-eyed cryptid of the night, until another anonymous witness reached out to us via Facebook to share his story, saying, “That creature you’ve described? It’s known as the Fir Forest Detritivore, and I’ll tell ya one thing, it’s fuckin’ real.”
The man went on to describe a familiar scene he watched unfold: “I don’t want my family knowin’ I got back into drinking, so you better keep your fuckin’ mouth shut on who I am… but I was at Seymour’s ‘til closing for the night, a couple drinks in but still walkin’ straight. I went outside for a dart before heading home. I’ve been in plenty o’ fights, a bit of blood never bothered me, but I still hear that damn growl at night, and the sound of flesh being ripped from bone, right there on the fuckin’ street corner. The Detrivore was like nothin’ I’ve ever seen before, and nothin’ I’ll ever see again if I can help it. With its thick, feline-like claws, and an unhinged jaw to match its snarling maw… the beast had no trouble at all with that cougar. The thing pounced up and slammed it into the ground, before digging at its meat like a starved carnivore, wit’ the ease of rippin’ up a piece of paper. ”
Despite all of the guts and gore he endured, he says, “The scariest part of it all was when that Fir Forest Detritivore turned back and stared at me, with that blank, bright stare… I ain’t religious, but I swear t’god seein’ the white light in its eyes like that, I was beside myself for days afterward, thinkin’ it had to be some sorta sign… I quit drinking cold turkey, just like that.”
In regard to a police report he filed about the incident, he says, “The cops wrote me off ‘cause of my criminal record, I’m sure of it.” Much like the other alleged witnesses, this Fir Forest Detritivore has been repeatedly overlooked and ignored by park staff and law enforcement. “But, I know what I saw,” he finished, “and them pigs can’t tell me any different. I wish I’d ‘ave made up such a thing, it wouldn’t still be keepin’ me up at night!”