How living in a toxic society has made women turn on each other
Lea Krusemeyer (She/Her) // Staff Writer
Siobhan Barry (she/her) // Illustrator
Let me begin by saying that I love womanhood and the support we give each other. 90 per cent of the time I would say that I am proud to be a woman surrounded by strong and amazing women in the world. This is not a piece about trashing women, I am simply wondering how the toxicity of our society has found its way into our minds and poisoned our thoughts about each other.
Let us attempt to analyze why women tend to bash other women for being too slutty, too fat or too ugly. Something that recently made me question the unity of womanhood was when I saw comments about Renee Rapp, the new Regina George in the Mean Girls remake. People were body-shaming her and calling her fat. First of all, she is by no means fat and even if she was, that is no one’s business but hers. This culture in which we tend to comment on each other’s bodies has been going on for far too long and should really be retired in 2024. Calling someone skinny is just as harmful as calling someone fat and there are so many other compliments out there that could be given instead.
We should call each other fabulous, gorgeous, smart or witty—I know that we do that already but we need to establish this as a culture of positive uplifting of each other. This world, which is ruled by men, is harsh enough as it is and women have the potential to unite and fight for their rightful space in society. If we only focus our energy on the positive, we could change the world. Systematic change is not accomplished overnight but every uplifting comment about a fellow woman is a step in the right direction. Renee Rapp is a triple threat, she can sing, dance and act and she does it all brilliantly. This is what we should focus on, a young woman’s performance and her ability to own the stage.
I firmly believe that it is not the intention of most women to hate their fellow women. It is something that we are conditioned into by growing up in a world that is obsessed with body image and competition. We are told from a very young age what a woman should look like and how a woman should act and these images that we are shown are only slowly beginning to change. If my Barbies are all skinny with long hair, that’s what I will grow up to believe to be a woman, and it takes a conscious change in thinking to get rid of this idea.
I also believe that women learned to compete for the few spots at the table that were available to them. Our world, which still is constructed in a way that mostly benefits men, has taught women that the few spots they can have need to be fought for. This led to a culture within womanhood that focuses on outdoing your fellow women instead of lifting each other up. Again, this is something that is slowly beginning to change, with more women-owned businesses and a slow but steady change in mindset but we need to stay vigilant and make sure that one step forward is not followed by two steps back.
I urge every woman who is reading this to take into consideration what their comments might do to other women. We already get enough hate from the world, we do not need more hate from ourselves. There is great potential in womanhood and I want to believe that we are on the way to changing the world — one compliment at a time.