Is “good vibes only” the right way to live?
Jasmeen Kaur (She/her) // Contributor
Valeriya Kim (She/her) // Illustrator
At the end of the semester, I had many deadlines lining up, along with the impending stress of finals. It is common for students to feel worried and exhausted in a situation like this, including me. It just so happens that a few days ago, as I was scrolling through my Instagram feed, I came across a picture posted by someone with the caption “Positive vibes only”. I kept on staring at the post for a while — not in a weird way, I promise. The person who had posted this was looking right into the camera and smiling brightly. The picture itself is innocent enough. It’s hard to find anything wrong with something like that. Truly, there was nothing wrong with the picture, except the caption underneath it. The more I read the text saying, “positive vibes only”, the more I thought about the current mood I was in. I could not help but think, “what about my current vibe?”
I’m sure the person who posted that had no intention of making me feel this way, but we just need to see these kinds of texts or quotes for what they are. This is an example of toxic positivity. If you’re wondering what toxic positivity is, don’t worry, so was I.
I first came across the term in an article posted on MedicalNewsToday, and they defined it as “an obsession with positive thinking” — I think that sums it up quite well. Toxic positivity is when we try to deny the negative emotions we feel or someone else is feeling. It is the notion that suggests that one should feel only good things or solely have happy thoughts – that we should always search for the good when things feel bleak.
Now, imagine if you were just not having the best day and everywhere you go, people are telling you to stop feeling that way and instead to think of what good will come out of it. Even thinking about this situation feels weird, but this happens around us all the time. Unintentionally or not, this message makes people feel that their negative emotions are not valid and that they are wrong for feeling the way they are, which is wrong on so many levels. This has caused so many people to portray a false persona of themselves on social media, making others think that they are living “the life” and that is not a 100% true all the time.
We are human, and it is okay to feel negative emotions. Instead of feeling ashamed of them, we must embrace emotional complexity. What’s important is not how you want to feel, but THAT you feel. Take a moment to sit in silence and reflect on what you’re going through. While it will not immediately solve all your problems, it can surely help you understand your emotions and accept them as they are. Our lives are not Pinterest boards that have to look aesthetically pleasing and happy all the time. Instead, I like to think of it as a blank canvas which I am painting on. I will make mistakes, and I might not be able to always go back and mend them, but the fear of making mistakes shouldn’t stop me from painting.
I just need to remind myself that I do not have to pass someone’s “vibe check” to feel my emotions. They don’t matter — nothing’s stopping me from turning around and continuing with my life. Also, I hope that in the future when someone posts a picture of them smiling, they write in the caption “All vibes are welcome.”