Emilia Clarke wasn’t here for the bullshit.
She didn’t want to waste time talking about Game of Thrones hot takes or spoilers. She didn’t want to talk about her favourite cast members, her theories or even her experiences on the set. She wanted to talk about herself.
You may or may not believe it, but I spent last Valentine’s Day with Khaleesi herself.
I had always known that Emilia – yes, we’re on first name basis – was a non-celebrity celebrity. She’s down to earth, genuinely hilarious and really wasn’t here for the bullshit.
I kept asking her about her dragons, but she insisted on seeing my fire-breathing dragon. To this day, I still have no idea what she meant. I don’t have a dragon, much less one that breathes fire. Then I remember us being on some roof. We were painting – finger-painting, actually – and we were having some champagne. I don’t even like champagne. I kept asking her why the hell we were finger-painting when there were like four or five brushes there; plus, my brush strokes are way more precise than my finger strokes.
See, I’ve always admired Emilia Clarke since she dipped into that burning hot water before meeting Khal Drogo. Turns out she had a crush on me, too. All my badgering about Game of Thrones killed it though. I eventually went home; she drove me, too. What a nice lady!
– Carlo Javier, Managing Editor
Oh Paul… I dreamed about my amorous night out with Paul Bettany for years, but it didn’t come even close to the real thing.
I have trouble recalling how the night began, because it ended spectacularly.
His gorgeous, pale face was obscured by the flickering shadows of the chandelier above as I approached him in the corner of a dimly lit gothic restaurant. I was a little nervous to tell the truth. Well, he has played a few highly questionable characters in his time, including the monk Silas from The Da Vinci Code. Don’t worry, that wasn’t the role that made me fall for him, I’m not insane. No, when I saw him dance with fire in Inkheart when I was 12 years old my delicate heart fluttered. It beat even faster when I saw him in the flesh.
The conversation started off well enough – that man was born to make witty comments about other people’s intelligence. I was so busy staring into his icy blue eyes that I didn’t notice the waiter was approaching, and I knocked a bowl of udon soup right out of his hands and the hot liquid scalded me. Thighs on fire, we left the restaurant in a hurry to remove my sopping wet clothes. What started off as a disaster ended quite pleasurably.
– Christine Beyleveldt,Campus Life Editor
Last Valentine’s Day was a memorable one for me. Not only did I finally have a date for February 14th, but it was with the sexiest human on the planet. “I can’t stay out too late tonight,” my date said, “Blake will get suspicious.”
Sitting across a candlelit table was Ryan Reynolds – the flickering from the flame illuminating every perfect facet of his face. The more time that passed, the more I was mesmerized by his inviting smile.
I always thought I knew what a charming person was like; I thought I had met funny people, but this night changed my perspective on all of them. Reynolds was able to make me forget my own name with a simple smile and had me laughing uncontrollably with casual jokes – which had me wondering what he could do to me with even a bit more effort.
As the evening progressed, what started as a schoolgirl crush was quickly growing. The small tremors Reynolds had been causing in my heart, and other places, were escalating into volcanic eruptions. As we shared a rich chocolate mousse dessert, I realized our amazing time together would soon be over. While I was worried about not making a complete fool out of myself, my primal instincts were kicking in, and I realized I needed more of Reynolds finely-sculpted ass in my life. As we exited the restaurant, I lost control. “So, I heard you got to keep your Deadpool suit,” I said.
– Justin Scott, Arts and Culture editor
It’s the type of date you don’t even get to brag about. If you tell them, your friends will look at you as if you chose a Prius over a Ferrari. You don’t care what they say, though, because you know she’s the one for you. Some people say celebrity crushes don’t exist – blasphemy. Kristen Stewart is a lovely lady, and an underrated crush.
Being the grungy, punk girl she is, she would want to go for a drink and some chicken wings at a place like the Warehouse. We spend the evening doing shots and making sarcastic remarks about the people around us. While we’re at the bar, everybody recognizes Stewart, but nobody cares.
The night concludes rather anticlimactically after a passerby on the streets berates her for Twilight. This sends her on a rant about how much she regrets ever doing those movies, despite all the money and sex she had with Robert Pattinson. In the end, she decides it might be best if we do this another night. On the bright side, she assures me that she had a wonderful time!
– Gabriel Scorgie, Features Editor
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