A DRUMMER'S DILEMNA Drums are for players, not profit

Player Politics

Several years ago, when I first began playing and building drums, I visited a Belizean village called Gales Point, population 500. There, I met a man named Emmet Young, bandleader of the Talla Walla Vibrations and the only teacher and instrument maker to be found in the area. I spent a sand-fly infested week with him, building a mahogany bass drum called a ‘kinkenee’ with a wooden club and rusted chisel next to lagoon. It was hard work, but it gave us plenty of time to talk. “There are two types of drumming, mon,” said Young in a thick Creole, “hippie drumming and learn-da-riddim. The first makes magic, maybe one in five times, but if you learn da riddims, there is no limit to how far it can take you.” His dream was to fly to Guinea, where he could learn about his history.

Gales Point has one major musical event, the annual Crab Festival held in September. I was invited to play for my gruel made from the ubiquitous crustaceans scuttling in every corner. A tipsy dancer in a loincloth sipped Old Master 150 proof rum while spinning. Later, Young told me that Gales Point has only four rhythms left, called ‘Sambai’, from Nigeria. The members of Talla Walla Vibrations failed for the most part, could not be bothered to show up, and that is what gave me the opportunity to sit in. His band didn’t even own their own instruments. “They just want to hustle and gangbang,” explained Young.

These final rhythms and the dance are receding remnants of the cultural history of these displaced descendants of slaves, the Gales Point Garifuna people. That history is being lost and replaced by mental Gangsta Rap and Reggae – a poor substitute for the ancient songs that informed all aspects of African life.  Take for example the Kpanlogo rhythm of Ghana. Although complex, as a fisherman’s or ‘lolo’ song, the dance style is reminiscent of the weaving of the nets and the motion of the tides, while the tempo suggests the speed by which one should haul the nets. Everything evolves, but from Emmet’s perspective, the loss of interest in this culture equates with the loss of heritage. It's the reason why so many members of the village are in jail or addicted to the crack flowing from Belize City, a major port on the Colombian cocaine routes.

Now swivel the telescope to Vancouver, and narrow the lens on a Wreck Beach drum circle at sundown. While these anarchist circles have some brilliant creative moments, the pulse of Hippy Thunder is often a raucous of mistaken cues and competition, constantly resolving into a 2/4 rock beat structure, missing many of the rhythmic possibilities. Most players are oblivious to the roots of the instruments they are playing, nor do they know the rich history of these rhythms and the complex traditions they transmit, let alone the politics of appropriating these drums made so often at slave wages in Indonesia or Africa.

Pepe Danza, a master drummer, teacher, and collaborator, who has shared the stage with the likes of Ani DiFranco and the Dalai Lama, and who recently won the 2009 Jessie award for Outstanding Sound Design or Original Composition, thinks there are some problems with the level of awareness about drumming politics.

“Personally, I don’t play [a] style of music unless I have gone there, studied it and understood it ... eat the food, speak the language, in a way, earned the right and the privilege to play that music and be a channel through which that music travels, otherwise it can be very superficial.”

Danza, a native of Uruguay, has spent many years traveling and studying what some may call ‘primitive’ instruments, he points to some of the local, African teachers who carry a true transmission of the music, like the master drummer/dancer Fana Soro from the Ivory Coast. Soro is a hereditary heir to the balafon, which is much like a marimba or xylophone, who recently underwent intense surgery to remove three vertebrae from his spine. He was not expected to walk again. “He’s a jewel, a treasure, he’s incredible. He’s a true carrier of the pure tradition and the healing power of what he does is incredible to the point where he has healed himself. He has just had a tremendous injury to the point where the doctors told him he couldn’t play, but now [that he is,] that’s the true power of the healing power of music.”

Instrument Politics

North American drum makers and players face a particular challenge: They can be accused of cultural appropriation. By borrowing the design and style, anyone can produce modern versions of traditional instruments for sale, usually at a fraction of the cost of imported drums from West Africa. Effectively, the heritage of the music is being severed from its source, as the knowledge of the rhythms that accompany the instruments fade with the traditional instruments themselves. Still, the demand for traditional Djembe drums (shaped like an hourglasses with a goat-skin head) is high. They are widely considered the most popular hand-drums on the continent.

One company, which has worked hard to eliminate that demand, is Remo Belli’s “Remo” drum company. Started in 1957, it arose out of an influx of African influenced Jazz music and World War II technology. Belli realized that Mylar, “a polyester film made by DuPont (TM)” which was used as a heat shield for airplanes, was very resonant. He invented the Weatherking drumheads from this, thereby replacing animal skins that could not be exposed to rain. Remo has just passed their 50th anniversary, celebrating a generation of success, as “The World’s Most Recorded Drumhead.” They constructed synthetic drums to fit the heads, and began marketing copies of every traditional percussion instrument imaginable. This helped to answer the consumerist demand for African drums, due to their efficient and inexpensive production. They are also made in California.

Michael Babatunde Olatunji, the legendary African drummer, helped ensure the market economy with his complimentary musical efforts in America. He was born in a small fishing village called Ajido, Nigeria, but attended Atlanta’s Morehouse College to study political science. There, he and other displaced Africans formed a drum group to offset the loneliness. In “All About Jazz,” Michael Perciaccante explained that, “By 1957, Olatunji and his cohorts were performing at Radio City Music Hall backed by a 66-piece orchestra.” In 1959, they recorded Drums of Passion, which was the first studio recording of African drumming in the US. Their music influenced many Jazz legends of the time, such as Count Basie and Duke Ellington. It was Olatunji’s band that first introduced the Ashiko, a conical drum originating in ancient Yoruba, to New York, in the hands of Taiwo Duval, a band member. 

The particular problem with this cultural contact comes down to exploitation, however, and Duval exemplifies this. Although Drums of Passion was produced and distributed by Colombia Records and sold more than 5 million copies worldwide, Duval claims that he and Olatunji only received a few hundred dollars for the initial recording. “I could have been a millionaire," Taiwo told the University of Texas newspaper The Texan. "Anyway, what the hell." He didn’t know it had achieved such a great commercial success, and only learned of it through the Texan’s reporter. Instead, the Colombia Corporation reaped the benefit. The album was re-released in 2003. 

It is a classic example of the type of cultural appropriation that has been ongoing since the ‘primitive accumulation’ of colonial societies began. It is one more example of the effects of a system applying negative reciprocity, and it is also one more exploitive African story.

Duval explains the cultural knowledge of the Ashiko drum: "The drum is a family, and the head of the drum family is always mama, that's the African structure," Taiwo said. "When she says jump, papa and the children all jump.” This detail reflects an important aspect of gender equality, as least traditionally, as it points to a matrilineal period in Nigeria’s past.  In When Men and Women Mattered: A History of Gender Relations Among the Owan of Nigeria, Onaiwu W. Ogbomo provides evidence that the Owan people once lived in chiefless and matrilocal communities, where related female kin made up the settlements and followed matrilineal descent patterns. The drum family clearly reinforces this past history, ensuring an aspect of gender status. Once more, the traditional drum ensembles were means of ensuring community, as they never played alone. They further upheld established hierarchies. When considering the situation of Emmet Young in Gales Point, it is easy to see how the traditions have been lost without any kind of useful replacement. 

The Yoruban people, from whom the Ashiko originated, also used the drum ritualistically. They participate in a traditional religion centered on Orisha worship – the ancient deities of nature. Consecrated drums are used ritualistically to appease the Orishas and commune with ‘otherworld’ forces. They are also used in complex rites of passage.

Once more, these drums reflect the language of the Yoruban people and could be used for communications and to reinforce social norms and cultural values or taboos. In Bata Drums, from the Latin American Folk Institute, Mark Corrales explains, “The Yoruba language, the mother tongue of over 10 million people, is a tonal language ... speakers’ use three basic tones, or pitches ... as an essential part of how words are pronounced.” The modulation of the drum sounds can be adapted to mimic the speech tones, thereby reinforcing their oral system, as it allows for criticisms, praises, and innuendos to be transmitted through music, as a kind of leveling mechanism.

One other Ashiko player, Arthur Hill, stands out in contrast to his drummer peers. He is a lifelong drummer and ethnomusicologist, and he once recorded with Babatunde Olatunji in his earlier years. He is known as the father of the modern drum circle community movement. He offers community workshops, drum circle facilitation instruction, and his own line of strictly Remo drums. He tours endlessly, working in corporate settings designed to foster team building within hierarchies. Apple Computer, Silicon Graphics, and the World Bank are but a few of the major clients he has secured by taking a traditional community activity into a corporate environment. His efforts are designed to help foster better co-operation within patriarchal capitalist corporations so that greater efficiency and profitability can result. He even calls his group “The Arthurian Drumming Community,” bringing to mind another patriarchal, colonial model.

He has come under fire for his company. Dr. Lilian Friedberg, who holds a PhD from the University of Illinois/Chicago and is Artistic Director of the Chicago Djembe Project, says:  “What is objectionable is the manner in which we venture into this "new" territory: we do so without recognizing that it is not uncharted territory. It has been occupied by indigenous peoples since time immemorial. We must recognize that the past five hundred years of US history—Red, White, Brown, Yellow and Black History—have brought us to a position of slight imbalance in the world.” In her article, Drumming for Dollars, Friedberg attacks the marginalization of traditional elders in the teaching of their own cultural history. She scoffs at concepts about playing for the sake of playing or about cultural diversity; for her, it is thinly disguised appropriation. She points to Arthur Hull as a great example of North America’s deep-seated ethnocentrism and racism, as he has been elevated to master status without the appropriate rituals or rites that accompany it, while the appropriate masters of the tradition are hardly acknowledged. Finally, she states that the modern drum circle and drum enterprise is simply a commercial enterprise disguised as a spiritual experience. “Its real motivation is sales, not salvation. But, in the indigenous context, drums are for people, not profit. So, reinventing the ‘African Drum’ at a considerable profit to the American multi and at a considerable loss to the African native is "against the rules" established by the ethical tradition of the ethnic Drum.”

Learning from authentic teachers and paying fair-trade prices for instruments is a solution to this problem, a way to support the transition of tradition from one continent to the next. Leo Brooks, a drum maker from Aylmer, Quebec, with whom I built my first Ashiko, has traveled to Guinea recently in order to obtain instruction and to assist in the distribution of traditionally made drums while promoting indigenous issues in Canada. He also arranges for African teachers to teach abroad. I chose to build this drum, rather than buy one like it, in order to address personal issues with our own culture of consumption. I felt that the act of creation was necessary to qualify my own consumerist urges towards the musical ‘other’. I built it to fully participate in the culture of drumming, rather than to be a tourist of it. I consider it a necessary respect to build and play according to traditional teachings and instruction, so as to be able to appreciate rather than appropriate the cultural values that are dynamically engaged. I study from traditional teachers when I can, though when forced to choose between playing and playing authentically, I play. Inspired by the upcoming Black History month in February, the purpose of this article is to encourage people interested in traditional drumming to learn, and to support the traditions that created such a unique and fascinating cultural heritage.

Editor’s Note: We have just learned the Fana Soro has recently let his position at the Roundhouse and moved to Ottawa. He will be missed. For more info on Ghanaian Kpanlogo rhythms, check out A Small World on Commercial Drive on Sunday, Jan.31 from 11am-1pm. 2120 Commercial Drive - Cost: $20.

Ashiko - made over four weekends in Aylmer, Quebec, constructed at the Treefrog Percussion Workshop, under the guidance of owner and instructor Leo Brooks, an accomplished hand-drum expert and instrument maker. Standing three feet high, weighing ten pounds, it is made from fourteen slats of wood, Alaskan Aromatic Cedar and Quebec Pine. The slats were cut, assembled, and then glued together, after which the shell was mounted on a lathe for shaping. The drumhead is a Nubian goatskin from an Ottawa farm. It was cured, shaved, and stretched over the shell then pulled taut over two tension rings, which are secured with nylon rope to another corresponding tension ring near the base. The top and bottom rings are laced together in a simple ascending/descending pattern. Tuning of the drumhead is accomplished by an over/under knot, which folds these vertical ropes over one another, thereby creating tension. This process is called ‘pulling diamonds.’ Its only decorative features are the alternating colors of the slats and the thin ribbons, which are coiled around the steel rings.  In this case, the bottom ring is maroon and the top is maroon and light blue. 

Leo Brooks uses treated lumber bought from a hardware store. His reasons are ecological sustainability, and he makes use of almost every scrap of wood in an industrialized workshop, complete with state of the art tools. By contrast, traditional Ashikos are waist high and made from one trunk of wood. They are often made with chainsaws or chisels. The distinctions between the industrialized shop and the village origins are obvious.

//Kevin Murray

Editor

FROM THE EDITOR: “Hi... Haiti.” Lessons from a foreign correspondent

Last weekend we attended NASH 72 in Edmonton, a national journalism conference put on by the Canadian University Press. We sent 13 members of the Courier team to learn, network and become inspired about the possibilities of this so-called dying profession. In an attempt to share our experience with you, the reader, I proudly present a guest editorialist for this week’s issue: Krissi Bucholtz.

News is something that connects us all. Whether you are writing it, reading it, broadcasting it, watching it, or ignoring it, the changes that are happening in our world are changes that impact humanity as a whole, regardless of geographical location. No one knows this truth better than Adrienne Arsenault, a journalist who has been reporting global news for the CBC National since 1991, and was awarded the Journalist of the Year award by the Commonwealth Broadcasting Association in 2005.

She has reported on stories all over the world, bringing her to places such as Pakistan, Jerusalem, London, and Zimbabwe. “Everywhere you go, there’s something else you need to do,” Arsenault said, as she vividly described her experiences in Pakistan, where she witnessed and experienced many atrocities, such as wiping human flesh off the bottom of her shoes once she had walked through a disaster zone: “I don’t know if you’ve ever smelled blood before ... it smells like iron.”

Arsenault described one of her most harrowing experiences: She had arrived on the scene of a mass school bus murder, and was standing outside listening to the sound of the kids’ cell phones ringing constantly. “It hit me hard when I realized what was happening – their families were all trying to call them, to make sure they were okay,” Arsenault said. “You could tell the desperation behind the constant ringing – each loud tone willed the dead to come back, to pick up their phones.” Arsenault’s speech was sobering and filled with the unspoken horror of all that she has seen and reported on, yet she still made one very crucial point: If journalism is to be accurate, it must go beyond local communities and national borders.

The stories that we hear every day about what is going on in our own city are relevant and important, but if that was all we chose to read about, our global perspectives would diminish to non-existence. Arsenault drove home the fact that in order to report on these stories, you need to be there. It is easy enough to write a story on the disaster in Haiti or the civil wars in Africa, calling for readers to take action and spouting out angry words about those who seem to be at blame for the situation. However, how can a journalist—or a reader—truly understand the depth and the feeling behind the situation? “[We must] fight for the privilege of going to these places,” she explained. A phone call message from her “soft-spoken editor” confirmed that she would not be fighting too hard for her next post: “Hi... Haiti.”

While empathy is a valuable trait to possess, it is much more difficult when you are not in the situation. Arsenault felt that if journalists had truly done their job, tens of thousands of people might not have died. While talking about the role of national news, Arsenault drove home the fact that it needs to expand. “My CBC is not simply from the East coast to the West coast of Canada,” Arsenault said. “My CBC expands beyond borders. It stretches to the depths of Asia, to the heart of Africa, and it goes out to all those suffering in Haiti.”

Her point is valid. What kind of national news station would accurately depict our situation without bringing in a global context? “When you go to a place where something absolutely horrible has happened, you’re amazed by the little lessons you learn about humanity,” Arsenault said. “People who have the least ... boy, are they good at giving the most.” Perhaps our national news needs to look into more of these lessons, so that we can learn something from the perseverance of those who have suffered in our world.

//Krissi Bucholtz

Columnist




//Sarah Vitet 
Photo credit

NADA TO DO? CHECK THE INTERWEB New site revolutionizes the world

Inspiration for a new, user-generated events website called NadaToDo came to Anastasia Koutalianos over a year ago when she realized she never knew what was going on in Vancouver. She would often hear about events she was interested in only after they had passed.

While in Montreal during the summer she and a design team called Elliot created the site, where people could post events happening in their community. “It allows communities to merge and re-shape each other,” says Anastasia, the site's creator. The main goal of Nadatodo.com is to become a useful tool in discovering events going on in your community.

Anyone can post events and it’s absolutely free to do so. The website is not limited to the Vancouver area, but is also open to other cities in the lower mainland and beyond. Nadatodo.com covers a wide range of events from music and concerts to workshops and art shows. Anastasia admitted that she was naive at first, thinking, “everyone will want to be a part of this,”  but looks to Facebook as a good example – it was the universities that made it huge. However, unlike Facebook, the events aren’t limited to sending invites to friends. Anyone can see these opportunities and it’s not discriminatory to who you know.

Anastasia expressed that she is thrilled at the positive energy the site has already received. “The site has been up about a month and a half, and it already has a ton of support. Theatre companies, art companies, independent or not, have been posting events on the site.” With the Olympics coming up it’s a good resource to know about as it’s free promotion. Nadatodo is also teaming up with Iheartvanart, participating in local festivals and parties in Yaletown, one of the only areas in Vancouver untouched by VANOC. There will be themes everyday during the festivities including b-boys, film screenings and art shows.”

“It's a lot easier to sort through and I like being able to bookmark things I want to check out. The site is way more user-friendly than some of the other ones I've used. It's nice to be able to use a website for event guides rather than newspapers or magazines, especially now that most people are trying to downsize the amount of paper they use,” says Capilano student Durae Wilson of the site.

Nadatodo.com gives people an opportunity to go outside of their comfort zone and check out events that they may never hear about otherwise. Anastasia feels that “Vancouver may have a reputation of being a no fun city, but events are out there. They just lack the promotion.”

The site has a home page with the events coming up within the week in Vancouver – along the left hand side bar you can choose the type of event that interests you and see what’s coming up. It’s also designed so that once an event expires people can upload video, photos, and comments in the past events section.

Visit www.nadatodo.com to try it out.

//Jillian Law

Writer

TREES CUT DOWN TO MAKE ROOM FOR NEW FACILITIES First day of school surprise to lead to further changes in campus scenery

The first day back to school, the students were surprised to find a change in scenery. A tree removal had occurred at the main bus loop, leaving no remaining trees standing – only uneven stumps in the dirt. “The staff was heartbroken, since they were such beautiful trees. It had to be done, but it’s still quite sad”, says Sarah Silvester, Services Coordinator at the Capilano Students Union (CSU).

The trees were removed to clear space for the building of the east end of the film studio, according to Ian Robertson, Director of Building and Grounds. Cindy Turner (Vice President in Finance & Administration) added that “this new project must be completed by March 31st, 2011, so the contractors are participating in 'fast track construction,'” meaning the building design has to be completed first, and the building commences before all the details of materials are chosen.

The new cleared space is in order to facilitate the building of a new “bar shelter”. This bar shelter will be an overpass, built into the design of the film studio, which will shelter the bus loop. Buses will drive underneath the new building, to maximize the limited space.

Located beside this bar shelter, there will be facilities such as a small cafeteria and washrooms. Also, building a portion of the film studio in that particular location limits the amount of area that will be taken away from the grassy field, behind the Maple building.

Administration felt the grassy area was something worth keeping for the students’ festivities, especially during the summer months. In order to do this, the project had to be moved to the bus loop, in which the designer said the trees had to be taken down. It was suggested that this be done during the winter break, since it should not interrupt classes in session, interfere with the buses transporting students, or take place during the Olympics; when Capilano University will be used as a parking lot for the events.

The trees that were cut down could be classified as scrub trees, according to arborists, since they were in poor condition. To compensate for this tree removal, more trees will be planted. In addition, the process of the tree removal included a bird study, which had to be conducted before the trees could be cut down. “If there were birds living in these trees, it is doubtful they would have been able to be chopped down,” says Turner.

It is possible more trees could get cut down, to provide better access to help with the building, though if this happens, even more trees will be planted. As Turner states, “this is an opportunity to provide services to transit link, since right now there is really nothing there.”

The building underground will commence as of March 2010. The contractors hope to have the bar shelter up by summertime, so the bus loop will be running in September.\

//Sheliza Thobani
Writer

IGNATIEFF SPEAKS TO “UNCONVERTED MASSES” Canadian youth “disillusioned” ...but what about the protesters?

Michael Ignatieff’s appearance at UBC on January 15th may have been the most eventful yet of his cross-country tour of Canadian universities. However, the lively and varied debate was overshadowed by a demonstration staged by Greenpeace, who interrupted the event to protest Ignatieff’s stance on Alberta’s tar sands.

The protest began during the question and answer portion of the event. Jessie Schwarz from Greenpeace asked Ignatieff how he justified his support of the Alberta tar sands, the fastest growing greenhouse gas emitter in Canada. The sands, located in the northeast of Alberta, are among the largest natural deposits of crude oil in the world.

As Ignatieff began to respond to the question, however, a dozen or so members of Greenpeace stood up with banners and signs, and began to chant, “When I say ‘Stop the’! You say ‘Tar sands’! Stop the! Tar sands!” Many students in the audience began to boo the protesters and one individual yelled, “We’re trying to have a town hall!”

Two students on stage held up large banners that displayed quotes from Ignatieff on the tar sands issue. Ignatieff remained calm, and when the chanting died down after several minutes, he interjected, “You asked me a question,” to which Schwarz responded, “There’s the answer right there,” pointing to the banners.

Ignatieff defended his position on the issue, saying, “One of the key things about politics, one of the key things about Canada, is that we can’t pick and choose which facts we like. The tar sands are a fact of our national life. We have one of the largest proven oil reserves in the world.”

He explained that his primary concern was to make the sands sustainable. “I’ve made it very clear that we need tough federal regulations and a cap and trade system that gets the emissions down … But if you’re asking me to shut down the tar sands, it’s not in my power to do so, and frankly, it’s not in the national interest of our country to do so.”

The sands are a major political issue, as the Albertan provincial government refuses to halt their development despite their environmental impact. In addition to high greenhouse gas emissions, the destruction of Canada’s boreal forest and the alleged poisoning of people living in the area are issues attributed to the tar sands.

Later, Ignatieff addressed the issue again, saying, “Greenpeace is right, this is affecting the international prestige of Canada and the international credibility of Canada. I get all that … [But] I am not going to establish my street cred by running against an industry that employs thousands of Canadians and contributes six billion dollars a year to the federal change.”

The Greenpeace activists remained standing, holding their banners and signs, for the remainder of the meeting. At one point Ignatieff asked that they put them down because they were blocking other students’ views. Security was not involved, and although RCMP officers were called to the building, they did not take any action against the protesters.

The event at UBC drew the largest crowd yet on Ignatieff’s series of “town hall” meetings with students across Canada. The venue reached its capacity of 400 quickly, and hundreds of others were moved into an overflow room. But while Greenpeace’s demonstration revealed that some audience members had a strong political agenda, the majority of students seemed open-minded and unaffiliated with any particular party or message.

These students, whom he has called the “unconverted masses”, were the ones Ignatieff hoped to reach. In his speech, he condemned the “cynicism” and “disillusionment” of Canadian youth on political issues. He noted that only one in five 18 year-olds voted in the last election, insisting that this trend was “producing a social change we should think about hard.”

Ignatieff also criticized the Prime Minister’s unilateral decision to prorogue Parliament on December 30th. This decision came at a time when the federal government was under pressure to respond to allegations of Canadian complicity in the torture of Afghan prisoners. Ignatieff claimed that in proroguing Parliament, “[Harper] gambled on your cynicism … and interestingly, he gambled wrong.”

During the question and answer period, Ignatieff fielded a variety of questions from students on everything from marijuana legalization (“Flat out, no”) to whether he would lift the ban on gay men donating blood (“Absolutely”). Canada’s role in distributing foreign aid also became a focus of the discussion, as was also discussed, to which Ignatieff said, “The Harper government has walked away from Africa. We want to walk back.”

Despite a return to focus on other issues, comments after the discussion largely focused on the protest.   Josh Hutchinson, one of the organizers of the town hall and President of the Young Liberals of Canada in British Columbia, called the protest “very disrespectful… not just of Ignatieff, but of the students who were waiting to ask him questions.”

When asked how effective she thought the protest was, Schwarz said, “We got a lot of good responses from students afterwards. [Ignatieff] is sidestepping this issue, and we put the pressure on him to answer the question. People’s lives are at stake, and if that means interrupting his speech, so be it … he failed to make a distinction between his politics and Stephen Harper’s politics.”

//Laura Kane

Writer

CAP STUDENTS RAISE MONEY FOR HAITI Over a thousand dollars, in fact

You might have noticed that the small table in the cafeteria has been occupied over the past week.

Three days into a fund-raising effort for Haiti relief, which began on January 18th, ten students have managed to raise a total of $1600 from the student body.

The response from the students of Capilano students has, according to those involved, been exceptionally positive.

“Student Support has been overwhelming” says Richard McCrae, member of the global stewardship program, Social Justice Coordinator and active member of the 'Haiti Coin Drive'. “Students sometimes get a bad rep for being apathetic, and this really speaks for the character of the school.”

The idea of a Capilano Haiti relief coin drive was presented to the CSU Social Justice Committee (SJC), by concerned students wanting to address the issue somehow. After a brief debate, the SJC advised the students that the best course of action would be to not affiliate themselves with any Business or Union, including the Social Justice Committee.

By fundraising as an independent group of students, they qualify for the Canadian government's agreement to match all donations. As it stands, every dollar donated last week will doubled thanks to some clever organization by those involved.

//Marco Ferreira

Writer

GENE FLOW Baba Brinkman raps about evolution

When it comes to white people performing black music, Muddy Waters said it best: “They got all these white kids now. Some of them can play good blues. They play so much, run a ring around you playin’ guitar, but they cannot vocal like the black man.”

Of course, Muddy was talking about the blues, not rap, but exchange the key words in that sentence with “rap” and “rhyme,” and the quote would hold just as much weight today, especially when applied to the influx of non-black rappers evolving the genre into something vastly different from its origins.

Some would call it evolution, but is this a positive direction for the genre to take? Enter Baba Brinkman, a New Westminster MC who has stretched the genre to the extreme, filling his lyrics with subject matter that would typically only be associated with “things most likely to never, ever, ever be discussed on a rap record.”

Most well known for his rap version of the Canterbury Tales, Capilano University hosted Brinkman on January 14th, where he performed his newest album, The Rap Guide to Evolution, in what was one of the most surreal rap concerts of all-time. By the end, Brinkman had the pre-dominantly white crowd shouting ‘I’m A African,” made Capilano’s English faculty nod in approval as he recited lyrics over Dead Prez samples, and finished by providing an overhead with advice for “further reading.” A Big L concert this was certainly not.

Brinkman describes his music as “lit-hop,” although it is more appropriately categorized as “nerd-core,” a sub-genre of rap that focuses on... nerd stuff, and features artists such as MC Hawking, Optimus Rhyme, and MC Frontalot.

This evolution happened because, as rap became more accessible, the white majority increased their representation in the genre and changed the typical subject matter of rap to reflect their own interests and beliefs. As Paul Garon says in his article entitled White Blues: “One reason so many white listeners prefer white performers of their own age is that their interest in the values embedded in the blues is nil, whereas they identify quite easily with [the values] of other young whites.” For example, a middle-class white person can appreciate the talent of Nas, but not realistically identify with his struggles; this is an issue more to do with background than race.

Brinkman’s performance highlights how white audiences can identify with rap if it shares their ideals but would not listen to the genre any other way. For example, Dead Prez is a pan-africanist group who vehemently oppose white elitism and power structures through such lyrics as “All my high school teachers can suck my dick / Tellin’ me white man lies, straight bullshit.” Many of the English professors in attendance would probably avoid this type of music, yet despite this, they listened attentively when the lyrical content was changed to explain the origins of humanity from Africa.

To someone whose only association with rap is the form that Brinkman espouses at college campuses, rap groups such as Dead Prez seem like the stereotypical arrogant, superficial blowhards, and Brinkman himself purports this stereotype.

“This is a persona,’ states Brinkman, as he throws up a gang sign and changes his voice to a deep, bassy, growl, before delving into a ‘gangster rap’ about survival, evoking another quote from Paul Garon’s article that says “If one considers singing in a black vocal style to be part and parcel of blues performance, one rarely hears such singing by whites, outside of a few embarrassing imitations of black accents.”

Brinkman’s imitation is embarrassing, and it’s meant to be. It’s self-deprecating and it’s meant for laughs. It’s meant to be a joke, and for the professors and college-educated students, it’s funny. Yet this behavior belittles every artist who vaguely sounds like Brinkman’s poor imitation; to someone uneducated in rap music, that means Jay-Z, Nas, Tupac, Biggie, Big L, Rakim, KRS-One; the same blanket covers every master of the genre. Would the same people laugh if Dead Prez’ stic.man were to stand in front of the same crowd, reciting white-deprecating humour in imitation ‘white’ voice? Of course not, and I think that most would feel very uncomfortable, just as someone with respect for rap’s origins feels uncomfortable watching Brinkman.

Of course, it’s not like Brinkman isn’t good. He is very good, and this is where Muddy’s quote comes into context. While his lyrics are well crafted, he maintains a consistent flow, has well written lyrics with diverse rhyme schemes, and has awe-inspiring breath control, this is simply the “guitar playin,” and no matter how good Brinkman or others like him are, they will never sound “authentic.” Yet this is the turning point of the evolution of rap music and this is why he rightly chooses to rap about something he identifies with, instead of a cheap imitation, à la Vanilla Ice. Just as Eric Clapton decided it would be ridiculous to try to sing “Mannish Boy” and devoted himself instead to playing guitar, so have artists like Eminem, Slug, Brinkman, and the nerd-core rappers recognized their limitations and then tried to stretch them.

So is this evolution a positive? It should be. Rap and hip-hop has recently been taken into diverse and non-traditional directions while still maintaining strong ties to the origins and history of rapping. Ideally, artists who use the genre through non-traditional means still promote the people who made their career possible, just as Eric Clapton used his popularity to benefit the men who had inspired him. Perhaps this is the greatest concern with Brinkman; he rhymes about evolution and oral tradition while failing to positively promote the tradition from which he came.

Regardless, Brinkman is an amazing performer, and has taken rap in a unique direction, although he is the first to say that “I don’t know how long this particular evolution will succeed.”

//Mac Fairbairn

Sports Editor

DON'T WANT A BEER, DON'T WANNA WHINE Local musicians are banding together to create their own live music venue

“When you're in a club setting the sound systems are way better. All-ages concerts often have shitty accommodations for the audience, and the venue is barely-legal and makeshift. That's the whole point of Safe Amp, to have a real venue we can play at rather than makeshift places.” Explains Harrison Pratt, a local musician.

The Safe Amplification Site Society is a non-profit organization made up mostly of local musicians and show-goers who are tired of playing in unappealing environments. They're fund-raising to create a safe, sustainable, affordable, all-ages music venue, and their goal is $20,000, which is their estimate of what a year's rent would be. Caitlin Gilroy, a musician and one of the directors of Safe Amp, explains that although a party atmosphere is enjoyable for some shows, it gets tiring to play music for an audience that is hardly listening. “We wanted to play in a place that was really devoted to music 100% and not just the consumption of products.”

Not only is a 19+ venue undesirable for the musicians, but it discriminates against underaged fans who would like to go, but legally aren't allowed. Marita Michaelis-Webb became involved with Safe Amp for exactly that reason. “I'm 17 and I don't have a fake ID to go to bars because it's just not as comfortable for me, so I ended up going to the shows that were all ages.”

A general problem for all-ages venues, though, is sustainability. Hoko's Sushi Karaoke Bar used to host all-ages live music performances, but were forced to stop when inspectors determined that they weren't honouring their Food Primary license. Hokos isn't the only place to stop hosting shows, either. Getting shut down is a huge problem for all-ages venues.

To remain affordable is another goal of the organization. There are several Vancouver venues that can be rented and used for all-ages concerts, but they require the musicians to pay a fairly large rental fee, which in turn causes the cover price to go up. Admission to all Safe Amp shows will be $5 or less, so that show-goers don't have to go broke in order to support their local music scene.

“The laws that exist for venues are not really written in an easy place to find,” says Ryan McCormick, another director of Safe Amp. “Its fine as long as nobody enforces these mysterious laws, but over the last few years it seems like some of them have been enforced, and so venues close down.” Safe Amp is committed to learning all the venue and zoning laws and working with the city in order to stay open.

Why the name Safe Amplification Site Society, though? It's a play on the term safe injection site. “Music is kind of being treated like an illicit activity,” explains Gilroy, “People are doing it unsafely in illegal venues in dark corners of the downtown eastside... so the name is drawing attention to the fact that music is not something that should be illegal, but kind of is.”

A safe, sustainable, affordable all-ages space is what the founding directors wanted when they started the Safe Amplification Site Society, and it is what they are working to achieve. They put on multiple events per month and are garnering more and more support from the community. They are already a quarter of the way to their goal of $20,000.

Safe Amp hosts monthly fund-raiser shows at Little Mountain Gallery, as well as various other all-ages shows around Vancouver. For more information go to http://safeamp.org.

//Sarah Vitet

Assistant Arts Editor

THE REINVENTION OF SEBASTIEN GRAINGER How a Rocker Went Solo, Evoked Phil Collins, and Brought Adult Pop back again

“No, I’m not searching for myself. This record is about basic things... the same things that every song should be about: love, sex, death, drugs, and myself.”

Sebastien Grainger, calling from his live-in studio in Toronto, has been awake for over 24 hours by the time we speak. He’s exhausted, but committed. “I haven’t slept since 4pm yesterday,” he says. “I can go for as long as I can keep my eyes open.” This is no surprise coming from a man who has hardly let up since the release of his former band Death From Above 1979’s critical masterpiece, 2004’s You’re A Woman, I’m A Machine.

That outfit has since disbanded, and Grainger has found more satisfaction on his own. His solo debut showed songwriting chops and catchy rock qualifications, earning him the cover of Exclaim’s Best of 2008 issue, in addition to countless year-end top ten lists.

His commitment to his work is impressive. Grainger spends so much time crafting a song that he becomes bored of it, and shelves it for another. “Some songs I was super into in the summer, and now I don’t care for at all, so I wrote new ones,” he explains. This process results in Grainger becoming too familiar with the tracks and shelving them.

But he refuses to stop there, with an upcoming (get this) self proclaimed “adult pop renaissance” record, and the need to see himself going even more solo than he’s gone before. The album started out much like Grainger’s last effort, but evolved quickly. “I thought I would make a big loud trashy heavy record, but the thought of going through that live every night is terrifying, and unsustainable. I’m thirty, and the older I get, the less I want to kill myself on stage, and the less angry I am.”

When explaining the new sound, Grainger uses the word “pop” so many times I lose count. When citing a comparision, he says “Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins, that came from a weirdo band like Genesis, all of a sudden made these tremendous pop songs.” In a similar vein, Grainger evokes these 80s adult pop icons in his new sound.

Grainger’s ‘awakening’ of sorts came at a good time, right before he started writing this record. “It's the first time in my life that my thoughts and goals have been so clear. It's undeniable. My job since then, has been trying to interpret those thoughts.”

For a man who’s been living the musician lifestyle long enough, Grainger knows what he wants out of the experience, and even more, what he doesn’t. “I'm sick of watching bands wear their life on their sleeve. They get on stage talking about how long the drive was, and how hard things are. It's a slum, it’s not sexy.”

After forming a standard rock outfit, Sebastien Grainger & The Mountains, to tour on his last album, he insists this time around will be entirely different. “Everyone has been trying to be relatable for so long, and honestly, I'm not a regular guy. I was up for nearly 24 hours drinking and recording a huge pop song. That’s not what the work-a-day world is like, so why try to be relatable, when I can be weird and give people something new and special?”

“I'm not trying to do anything except make a record that I want to hear. I don’t have an agenda lyrically. I don't care if it makes sense as a statement. As long as it conveys ideas, and it sounds good,” he explains. “Lyrics are always second to rhythm and melody for me. It’s just the way it's always been. I can listen to a song for years and years, and not know what the song is about, and it can be my favourite song.”

The relationship between Grainger and his lyrics may not be on the front burner, but his commitment is evident. Even into the editing of my interview, I received an email from him, where he felt the need to clarify. “It occurred to me this morning that I may have sounded like I didn't take my own lyrics seriously,” he professed. “I do. They are my greatest challenge.” He elaborated in detail, explaining complicated intricacies in his lyrical style. “I am more interested in how phrases are presented and how they make you feel. A great singer can say something so simple and make it sound profound. If I had regrettable lyrics, it would be hard to perform the song.”

Grainger denied my use of the word “evolution” but definitely sees moving on and changing his sound as a huge part of the creative process. “Call it what you want, but at a certain point over the summer I saw myself with great clarity for the first time.” He elaborated with “A friend of mine was telling me that I should write a couple of [Death From Above] type songs, just to pacify my existing fan base, but it would be so cheap. I’m not the 21 year old that co-wrote that stuff. I don't eat soup from a can anymore, you know?”

//JJ Brewis

Writer

IS CAP BEHIND THE PACK? Survey shows change is needed

The Institutional Research department claims that “97% of career/vocational graduates who sought employment had a job within six months of graduation”. This of course, ignored what kind of a job was received, their wages, and whether their degree had anything to do with it. Capilano prides itself on providing an ‘applied education’ that stems from its roots as a community college. But how well do students do in the job marketplace, vis-à-vis other colleges and universities? How do our Bachelor of Music graduates do compared to graduates from UBC, SFU, VCC, and many other schools that offer similar programs? How well do our Acting for Stage and Screen students do comparatively?

The Baccalaureate Graduates Survey (BGS) and Diploma, Associate Degree, and Certificate Student Outcomes (DACSO) Survey are the two government tools in the Accountability Framework that track student success. The results are based on these surveys that are given to students two years after they have graduated. Student readers should be aware that this is likely their sole opportunity to give feedback on their education which schools formally process; any institutional change is likely to come through this regulated medium.

By policy, all public post-secondary institutions must report to the BC Ministry of Advanced Education figures and statistics on their students and alumni. To ensure that taxpayer funding is received from the government, there are school-defined targets that are set annually that need to be met, such as Aboriginal enrollment, student retention rates, number of international students, and so forth. These figures are found annually in the “Institutional Accountability Plans and Reports,” part of the BC Ministry’s Accountability Framework that keeps institutions accountable to students and the public. Inclusive in these accountability reports are figures that are particularly relevant to the average student at Capilano – unemployment rate, average salary, and education satisfaction for specific degree, diploma, and certificate programs. This report alone is the most important document that will come out of the President’s Office and Board of Governors – the highest decision-making bodies that are in charge of the education at Capilano.

The results may surprise you.

The highest earning bachelor degree at Capilano is surprisingly, music therapy. Their median annual full-time income two years after graduation is $53,324. The lowest earning bachelor degree at Capilano was jazz studies – the 2008 survey of Bachelor of Music graduates showed that 57% of respondents earned less than $20,000 a year. The typical debt for all Capilano graduates was $15,000.

While research universities like UBC, SFU, and UVic have been awarding bachelor degrees for decades since their foundation, Capilano is a new player in the world of degree-granting institutions. Therefore, comparing degrees from Capilano to degrees from UBC may be a bit like comparing apples to oranges, and also unfair given Capilano’s relatively new degrees coupled with university status. Instead, it is more relevant and useful to compare Capilano’s bachelor degrees to those from schools such as Kwantlen, UFV, TRU, and other new universities.

While Capilano is the only school in Western Canada to offer a degree in music therapy, also their highest earning degree, it is not the only school to offer business studies. Business administration graduates from Capilano were the second-highest earners with a medical annual income of $45,380. Both degrees, however, paled in comparison to other institutions. The median income at BCIT for business administration was $60,000, and the median income at Kwantlen for business administration was $52,000.

Other survey results are more bewildering. The most common full-time occupation for Bachelor of Tourism Management degree-holders was Secondary School Teachers. The job titles among graduates were spread out so thin that the Ministry could not publicly report them; the BGS requires that at least two graduates hold the same job/field for the data to be released, for privacy and statistical concerns. This succinctly indicates that graduates of the Bachelor of Tourism Management program find it difficult to get a relevant job.

One of the best programs at Capilano is the foundation in illustration and design (IDEA) diploma program. IDEA graduates do very well two years out of school. 40 out of 43 respondents were employed as creative designers and craftspeople, with a median hourly wage of $19, and had one of the highest satisfaction rates at Capilano.

Resident Care Attendant certificate graduates also do well, earning $19 similarly. 48 out of 61 respondents were working in health support.

On the other end of the spectrum is the acting program. In the fine arts, one of Capilano’s programming strengths—the Acting for Stage and Screen Certificate program—does not report stunning success for its graduates. In 2009, only 10 graduates gave specific information about their employment. Only 3 of those 10 were employed as “creative and performing artists.” 17 out of 27 respondents that shared some details of their employment said their job was “not very related” or “not at all related” to their studies. Furthermore, the median hourly wage of acting graduates was $10, and 42% of respondents ended up studying in another program after they graduated from acting.

Likewise, graduates from Capilano’s full-time, two-year diploma in Film Production faced similar problems – 34 out of 86 ended up working in a job unrelated to their studies with a median hourly wage of $12. In comparison, graduates from BCIT’s part-time, one-year certificate in film had a median hourly wage of $15 and only 5 out of 24 had unrelated employment.

One main reason why Capilano may lag behind sister institutions is quite simple – students generally have few opportunities to gain work experience while at Capilano.

While nearly every school has a formal cooperative education program open to all students, or what students often refer to as “co-op,” Capilano does not. For example, Douglas College, Langara College, UBC, SFU, UVic, and many other schools offer co-op programs, staffed by coordinators, placement officers, and program assistants. Their jobs are specifically to help students gain meaningful employment and experience. The only co-op program at Capilano is exclusively for Tourism Management/Destination Resort Management students. Capilano used to offer co-op to its post-diploma students in the McRae Institute of International Management, but that program has been cancelled since the departure of Geoffrey Bird, formerly the program convener, who accepted a position at Royal Roads University.

Capilano’s most helpful resource for the majority of students not studying Tourism is likely the “Student Employment Services” website, which is an online job board for employers to post job advertisements; there is no real office. Capilano business students additionally have access to their “Career Development Office,” which is staffed by Sarah Sharp in CE 338. Business schools tend to have their own private, internal postings for their students, as is the case with the Sauder School of Business at UBC and the Faculty of Business at SFU; unfortunately, the School of Business at Capilano does not have this either.

Considering the survey results detailing the outcomes of Capilano students, the administration has a lesson to be learned. With a new university president to be selected, he or she ought to heed the signs and implement change. For starters, a new president needs to take the first steps in giving more students opportunities at Capilano, by supporting student career development and employment. Otherwise, Capilano will not catch up to its peer institutions.

//Keith Van,

Writer                                                                                                              

CANDLES LIGHT THE WAY FOR OMAR KHADR A valiant effort to shed some light on a controversial situation

A recent candlelight vigil preceding a forum demonstrated once more that Canadians are not willing to fightgive up on to bringing Omar Khadr back to Canada.

“A Canadian citizen has rights, regardless of whether he is popular or not,” says Eric Walton, the Green Party of Canada’s International Affairs Critic, “and popularity should not be a factor in determining whether his citizenship rights are upheld.”

A small group of people huddled together at Victory Square, listening to live music and holding candles in solidarity. Several people were also dressed in orange jumpsuits, modeled after prisoners held in Guantanamo Bay.

Almost fifty people were in attendance at the forum itself, a greater number than that of the last Omar Khadr forum Amnesty International held last year. This also mirrors the rise in support for Khadr's repatriation among Canadians across the country, according to Angus Reid polls.

Omar Khadr is a Canadian who was arrested in 2002 by American forces in Afghanistan. Khadr is accused of allegedly throwing a grenade that killed one soldier and wounded another, in a US attack on a suspected al-Qaeda compound. Upon arrest, Omar Khadr was fifteen years old. His age at time of arrest calls into question whether or not he should be considered a child soldier and be treated as such.

“I want them to bring him home [to Canada] because he was a kid,” said the vigil participant; “kids make mistakes. If it was the truth or even if it wasn’t, he deserves to be brought home, because he’s got a passport and if he can be sent there [to Guantanamo] then all of us can be sent there.”

The forum on Omar Khadr was sponsored primarily by Amnesty International, as well as the BC Civil Liberties Association (BCCLA). Speakers included Carmen Cheung of the BCCLA, Gail Davidson, a lawyer and peace and human rights activist, and Derrick O’Keefe, the co-chair of the Canadian Peace Alliance.

Don Wright, the Regional Development Coordinator for BC/Yukon, said that Amnesty has been advocating for Omar “from the moment we knew that he was in detention.”

Amnesty International has held forums previously in support of Khadr, most notably a forum around the time that Barack Obama took office.

Wright says they aimed to remind Obama that he had made “promises in his campaign to respect human rights ... and that one of the things he had to do was close Guantanamo and deal with the prisoners in a fair way.”

“I think it’s a pretty important objective to be met [the closing of Guantanamo],” says Walton. “Even if there’s a delay in achieving it.”

Gail Davidson, the founder and Executive Director of Lawyers Rights Watch Canada and co-founder of Lawyers Against the War, says “the War on Terror was a determinant completely outside of the law that allowed for and resulted in violations of all international human rights of the prisoners including the global prohibition on the use of torture.”

She went on to say that, “Khadr’s treatment ... since 2002 has been entirely determined by politics,” and that laws have been violated or completely ignored.

“Why has Omar Khadr not been allowed a fair trial before a regular US court? The reason is simply and purely because the charges against Omar Khadr ... could not stand up ... and would not result in a conviction before a regular US court.”

“He should be back in Canada,” says the Green Party's Walton, “without ... passing judgment either way, we felt that as a Canadian citizen, his rights need to be protected.”

Derrick O’Keefe, also a coordinating member of the Vancouver StopWar.ca Coalition, questions the logic of some aspects of Khadr’s case. He states that part of the argument about Omar Khadr having affiliations with terrorists is that his father knew Osama Bin Laden. O’Keefe pointed out that this was strange logic, as George Bush’s father also knew Bin Laden, yet no one was accusing him of being affiliated with terrorism.

Davidson also pointed out that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, a man accused of being connected to the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the United States, was given a civilian trial even though he is largely associated with terrorism. Conversely, Khadr was given a military tribunal, despite the prevalence of “grey areas” in his case.

She questioned the “Harper Regime’s” decisions, stating that she calls “it a regime because it’s hardly a government anymore.”

Walton feels that Omar Khadr has become “a political pawn, because by ... demonizing him and ... using him as a pawn, Harper is able to sort of show his constituency that he’s tough on terrorism.”

Alain Cacchione, spokesperson for Foreign Affairs Canada, stated that the Government of Canada will “continue to monitor all developments in Mr. Khadr’s case closely and that department officials have carried out several welfare visits with Mr. Khadr, and will continue to do so.”

He also noted that, “at this point in time ... the Government of Canada’s position regarding Mr. Khadr remains unchanged. [We have] consistently stated that Omar Khadr faces serious charges as he has been accused of serious crimes including murder, attempted murder, conspiracy, providing material support for terrorism, and spying.”

Carmen Cheung, Counsel at the BC Civil Liberties Association, says, “The problem with a detainee like Omar Khadr, which is something that the Americans have argued for a long time, is that he sort of falls into this grey area.”

“The Geneva Conventions ... conceives of war in a very traditional sense, you have two countries fighting each other ... there are conventions that cover the treatment of people who are captured from the official armies. But people like Omar Khadr, who may be an insurgent or something else between; it’s something completely different. The Geneva Conventions might not cover him.”

The Canadian Government made an appeal to the ruling made by the Canadian Federal Court of Appeal for the government to push for the return of Khadr from Guantanamo.

The appeal was made to the Supreme Court of Canada, and was heard on November 13, 2009. The Canadian government has already spent at least 1.2 million dollars in legal fees.

“After careful consideration of the legal merits of the ruling from the Canadian Federal Court of Appeal, the Government decided to seek leave to appeal the decision,” says Cacchione. “As the matter is currently under litigation, we will provide no further comment at this time.”

Omar Khadr’s trial is currently scheduled for July 2010. “We hope to have a decision within the next few months [by the Supreme Court],” says Cheung.

Those at the forum had a feeling of solidarity upon its closure.

“I think we all believe that his [Khadr’s] rights have been so badly violated that ... the only solution is for him to be given all the care and attention he needs to be able to function again in Canadian society,” says Wright.

“In this era, where government is playing ... with the rights of Canadians,” says Walton, “I’m glad that we have a Charter.”

//Samantha Thompson

Assistant News Editor

CANCER EARTHQUAKE TSUNAMI Just kidding, it’s about bathroom handles

The combination of media whipping the general public into a state of hysteria about the recent spread of cold and flu germs, and the fear that not everyone washes their appendages after using the bathroom, has led to hygienic concern. Science tells us that the human hand carries more bacteria than a dog's mouth. So why is it that Capilano's public washrooms--the appointed depository of all things unhygienic--are not engineered to cater to the needs of dutiful clean-freaks?

Consider this: the first floor library washroom--a place frequented by any busy academic--has a door that swings inwards, allowing easy access. And that's great, because that extra half-second can be very useful in a do-or-die situation. But this means the handle is inverted, forcing one to pull the door open from the inside. The architects of Capilano's library can be forgiven for their ignorance of swine flu, dog's mouths and post-toilet human hands, but it's pretty clear that the washroom doors should swing out, not in.

It's hard to miss the latest public health warnings about bacteria counts on washroom door handles, faucets and toilet flusher-thingies. Even my surprisingly clean-mouthed collie knows that you can wash all you like, but if you have to grab a door handle to get out of the room, what's the point? Any guy will tell you everybody doesn't wash their hands after urinating; most statistics say only a little over 50% of men do in fact. Heck, if there was a little red light over the bathroom door that flashed every time someone exited without washing, the bulb would have to be changed every couple of hours. How could anyone say with a straight face that this wouldn't contribute to the spread of the much-feared H1N1 and other notorious viruses?

And even if you were one of the good bathroom attendees who soaped up at the sink, we all know a good dose of warm water helps to finish the job. Regretfully, this is lacking at any automated motion-sensor faucet around Capilano. We have the H2O, but none of the heat required. When you trigger the spray it only spews for five seconds, not nearly enough time for the water to heat up. You can try and get around this by triggering the faucet five times consecutively in a vain attempt at water-warming, but you would find even twenty-five seconds is insufficient. The Health Canada instructions say to wash in warm water for at least fifteen seconds (one recitation of the alphabet backwards). Following these rules, using the Capilano bathroom sink, it would take over a minute to properly wash.

Not that everything in Capilano's bathrooms is flawed. Your hands may have a hard time getting clean, but as long as you feel like pressing that silver button again and again, they'll have no problem getting dry. The hot-air hand driers are almost as speedy as the faucets, and can be hygienically operated with the elbow.

An informal survey of 10 men walking between the Library and the Birch building found seven preferred to flush using their elbows or feet. In another canvass of 10 women walking between the Library and the Cedar building, six always cover the toilet seat with tissue paper before the deed. These are far from scientific surveys but it was interesting to see how many people pride themselves on proper hygiene.

But let's walk it through: clean hands push door open. Business is concluded. For men at least, only about half choose wash -- and that means a quick rinse in cold water. It figures there are a lot of germs reaching the bathroom door -- more, in fact, than on the inside of a dog's mouth. The answer seems clear: until washroom doors learn to wear their handles on the outside of Capilano facilities, you might want to bring your dog along to lick the handles clean.

//Matt Humphrey

Writer

LET'S PUT A TANK ON OUR FLAG Wholesale changes long overdue to dated Canadian icons

In the years since the 1960s a lot of ornery Anglophilic monarchist types have loudly bemoaned their collective decline as trusted guardians of Canada’s national symbols. “God Save the Queen” is no longer sung, the union jack is off our national flag, and framed portraits of the Windsors only remain in a handful of our nation’s most depressing community centers. Whatever colonial insecurities such royalist iconography inspires today, the monarchists are right to assert that these symbols were, at one time, unquestionably Canadian.

Canadian Anglophilia fell out of favor for a number of reasons, not the least of which was that it was assumed to antagonize Quebec, a concern which, as well all know, rose to a priority of utmost importance among this country’s postwar ruling class. In such a climate, monarchism became increasingly reactionary, evolving into a symbol of defiant conservative English Canadian nationalism, a vain attempt to preserve a few cherished symbols of the majority culture’s former glories from the Francofying yoke of Trudeaupian postmodernism. But in the year 2010, even the most reactionary Anglo has a hard time pining for the Red Ensign or defending the concept of King Charles with a straight face. For any group to survive, it needs symbols, and conservative English Canadians have never found good symbolic substitutes for the imperialist trinkets of yore.

If forced to compile a list, the United States of America would probably sit near the top of worthy iconic contenders.  As we all know, liberal Canadians are fond of using America as their all-purpose whipping boy to beat down policies they dislike (which is to say, those of the right), which puts conservatives into the pro-America camp almost by default. But unless handled with the utmost of care, American apologism will always be political poison in a country with as many little brother complexes as ours.

It’s the Canadian military, therefore, that seems to show the greatest promise of evolving into a strong icon of lasting Conservative nationalism. That’s certainly seems to be the hope of the current prime minister, at least, who never misses an opportunity to remind us, often through photo ops, of just how serious his government is about “strengthening Canada’s armed forces.”

Demographically, it makes sense. The Canadian military is dominated by white, English-speakers from lower-income backgrounds, many of whom hail from the country’s more rural communities — a profile which happens to align quite nicely with that of your average Conservative voter. Military values also align well with the conservative political platform: sacrifice, self-reliance, respect for authority, supporting our US allies (there’s that again), guns, indifference to international law, etc. And for those few archaic Tory monarchists who are still with us, the Canadian military remains one of the last frontiers of the old-school imperialist nationalism of yore, a place where you can still join regiments named in honor of long-forgotten princess and dukes, and where luf-tenants will still demand you do one extra push-up for Her Majesty.

Yet what conservatives fail to appreciate in their drive to build up and glorify the Canadian armed forces is the unavoidable fact that the military is, at the end of the day, just another government bureaucracy. A new form of nationalism based on military-love may be robust and manly, but it is ultimately not that substantially different from the healthcare-and-CBC lovin’ strain of liberal nationalism it seeks to displace. Both styles rely heavily on government programs to provide a sense of purpose to the nation, and both create a narrative in which expressions of patriotism become irreversibly bound up in the dreary world of Canadian politics. When your love of country stems from your love of this-or-that government service, the proudest act of patriotism becomes lobbying for its increased funding, and the most nationalistically important event of the year becomes the construction of the federal budget.

Conservatives are supposed to view state spending with a critical eye, and the Canadian military doesn’t serve a whole lot of readily-evident purpose. Indeed, rather like the Canadian Senate, it spends an awful lot of its existence convincing the rest of the country that it actually remains a worthy recipient of all the tax dollars it gobbles down. While we all respect the sacrifices our men and women have made in places like Kosovo and Afghanistan, and while most of us would concede such places are overall better from Canada’s involvement, the fact remains that such conflicts are wars of choice; honorable, but not necessary.

Even domestic military adventures, such as the recently emboldened crusade to “defend Canada’s arctic sovereignty” (from who or what is never exactly clear) are at best the equivalent of the make-work projects that characterize so much of the Canadian bureaucratic landscape. Worship of the state almost always begets waste and extravagance, and turning government programs into golden calves negates our ability to view them rationally and critically. The debate over what sort of armed forces Canada wants and needs is far from settled. Embanking the status quo behind a wall of patriotism serves the interests of no one.

As far as symbols go, Canadian conservatives could do a lot worse than the military. But if they truly desire a cultural shift away from big government as the sole fountain of national purpose they could do a lot better, too.

//J.J. McCullough

Writer