DRESS-UP AT THE DEATH STAR Vancouver Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention’s cosplay connection

Mention the word 'cosplay' to the average person, and you're guaranteed to get one of two responses: a look of incredulity, eyebrow raised, mouth quickly forming into a very fierce scowl, or a wide-eyed look of puzzlement, mouth formed into a small 'o', pondering what the word that just spewed out of your mouth meant.

For those among us who fall into the latter category, I'll lay it down. Cosplay is a hobby that is shared by the sci-fi, fantasy, anime and manga lovers all over the globe. It is a harmless activity that engages one's creativity and imagination, employing a number of skills, such as wood-working, needle-work, hair-styling, and make-up art, just to name a few.

Essentially, according to the ever-faithful Wikipedia, it is “short for ‘costume role-play’, [and] is a fan labour type of performance art in which participants don costumes and accessories to represent a specific character or idea.”

Immediately, images of acne-prone 13-year olds, braces flashing in the sunlight, dressed as some obscure anime character, pretending to be more badass than they actually are, flash though the mind.

But panic not – it is actually quite an incredible art form, simply a way to have fun and bring something they have come to respect and revere to life. Cosplayers expand their creative boundaries and in many cases, challenge something society has deemed a taboo without getting tasered by cops. Since most clothes these days, according to Iwachiten on Urban Dictionary, are “shitted out for everyone via mass factories and little kids in China”, cosplayers can also indulge in creating their own clothing that is more exciting than anything one may find in a clothing store. In essence, it is a lot like wearing your favourite band's t-shirt, painting your team's colours across your face or wearing a hockey jersey the day of a game.

At the Vancouver Science-Fiction, Fantasy and gaming Convention (VCON), which happened last weekend, the cosplayers were out in full force. Although VCON is a relatively small convention compared to most, it still attracted the attention of the Outerrim Squadron. This small group of hard-core 'costumers' are part of a larger association, which calls itself the 501st Legion. The 501st Legion specializes in Star Wars costuming, specifically the Imperial side. The Legion stretches across 24 countries, with almost 5000 members and counting. At VCON, convention-goers were graced with the presence of Darth Vader, Boba Fett, a TIE-fighter, Qui-Gon Jinn, a snow-trooper and a general from the Death Star. This small collection of ‘costumers’ (they said that using 'cos-player' inferred a connection to anime) took great pride in their homemade creations and even led a panel on how to create the elaborate costumes. Many of the more complicated components of the outfits were created with molded polystyrene, which apparently requires quite the technique to meld properly. John, or Boba Fett, said that creating a costume “requires a lot of dedication and a bit of money” and that his costume has taken him over ten years to create and it is still an ongoing project.

It was a pleasant surprise to chat with the costumers and learn about their identities. Many members of this elite group were actually over the age of 25 and had families. They considered this hobby as a way to relax and have fun with people with similar interests and be part of a large social group. In fact, the range in the age of the cosplayers varied from teens to late 40's, creating a connection between many different generations that often find it hard to locate common ground. Despite the age difference, everyone seemed to be getting along and enjoyed the company.

In Vancouver itself, the community of cosplayers and costumers are very inclusive and are always looking for new members. Many times, the people that are dressed up are far more interesting to talk to than the people milling around aimlessly, dressed in their token t-shirt and jeans. A cosplayer will gladly pause a conversation they're having to take a picture or two with you or a friend.

A little farther back in the year, there was another convention that played host to gaggles of cosplayers: Anime Evolution. Throughout the course of the convention, one could spot their favourite Final Fantasy character or watch as a horde of girls dressed in school uniforms descended on vendors. The whole convention was filled with laughter and a general feeling of contentment. Everyone was smiling, and people dressed up as the same character would high-five each other and immediately begin a conversation with the other, asking how they got their hair to freeze in a specific way, or how they got their make-up so perfect.

Cosplay is something that can be shared and enjoyed by a whole assortment of people, from your next-door neighbour’s kid, to the quiet and reserved guy who sits at the front of class. It brings together fans of all different genres to celebrate the creation of revered art and what it means to them. It stimulates the imagination and the creative impulses our society deems verboten and turns them into something fun and harmless. However, if you think this hobby is right up your alley, be careful who you choose to dress up as. When asked how hot the Star Wars' costumes get, the general consensus was “like the planet Tatooine in summertime”.

For more information of various cosplaying, you can visit http://www.501st.com/ or YouTube, which has some pretty sick videos.

//Haley Whishaw

Writer

MOM'S THE WORD: REMIXED Not just for moms

When a show gets hyped, it's sometimes hard not to be skeptical. I have to admit, walking into the Arts Club Theatre on Granville Island and being greeted by a sign declaring “Mom's the Word contains strong language and brief parental nudity,” I caught a whiff of cheesy wordplay wafting off the freshly xeroxed text. Seeing as my mom was out of town, I was taking care of myself and a couple of hairless cats, and now I had to go to a play of questionable quality.

Mom's the Word: Remixed is a compilation of two previous works by the Mom's the Word Collective (composed of writer/performers Linda A. Carson, Alison Kelly, Robin Nichol, Barbara Pollard and Deborah Williams) entitled Mom's the Word and Mom's the Word 2: Unhinged. Directed by Australian theatre giant Wayne Harrison, the group underwent a long and painstaking process of editions and revisions to bring together two full-length plays into a single, new production. I was about to see if  “the moms,” as they are constantly dubbed, had done a good job.

So I took my seat and the lights dimmed. The audience warmed up quickly after a little under a minute of Jill Daum's highly physical monologue depicting childbirth. From then on, I was slowly swayed from my cynical expectations and then quickly sucked into a parental maelstrom of the players' imaginings, populated by eruptions of laughter and the occasional teary eye. By the time I was out the door after the show's well-deserved standing ovulation – I mean ovation – the bad pun on the flyer seemed totally justifiable (and, as you can see, I even came up with my own).

Speaking with Alison Kelly and Deborah Williams, both sang the praises of their director, Wayne Harrison, who has worked on Mom's the Word twelve times in the last ten years. Alison told me of his “incredibly detailed and demanding” style, which Deborah echoed, calling him “an amazingly perceptive director.” This was apparent in performance – all of the actors displayed a polish onstage that comes from hours and hours of hard work.

When I asked Deborah if the show was always handled with such a high degree of comedic grace, she quickly said “Oh gosh no!” But they've been at it since 1993, and their thousands of performances and years of touring Canada and the UK have paid off handsomely. When it comes to being in Vancouver, she said, “It's nice to be home.” And strangely enough, that's the sort of feeling I got at the Arts Club Theatre. It has a warm, happy atmosphere that really suits the play.

At this point you're probably wondering why exactly you, average Cap Courier reader, should see a play about being a mom. I didn't think it was for me either. But when the jokes revved up, they were funny to everyone – definitely not just for moms. The old ladies in the crowd laughed hardest at what you might think of as the most vulgar parts (one example: “I long for the days when the drying semen reassured me of his undying love”). My favourite bits were about childhood and being a teenager, which was, lets face it, an awkward time that we are all glad to have behind us.

For exit music after the show, “All You Need is Love” came on the sound system. That pretty much sums up any worthwhile pursuit – a category in which both being a parent and seeing this play fall. You'll leave feeling loved, and that's more than worth the price of admission. And I'd suggest you shell out the sheckles for your tickets as soon as you can, because according to Alison Kelly, “they're selling like hotcakes.”

Mom's the Word: Remixed is playing at the Arts Club Theatre on Granville Island until November 7th.

//Sky Hester
Writer

SCREW IN THE LIGHTBULB! TURN THE DOORKNOB! Comedy troupe makes light of cultural stereotypes

The audience didn’t have to wait long for the first Bollywood dance, as the cast of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Chicken: The Butter Strikes Back opened with the skit “Mera Yaar Intro Dance”.

Munish Sharma and Leena Manro have a very unique form of edgy and risqué sketch comedy. Having known each other for just two years, the pair have created a production company, Bollywood Shenanigans, and put on three shows. They write spirited skits about the real life issues that children of immigrant families face in Canada. “When we write our comedy it has meaning. Even if you took out all the derogatory remarks, it’s still funny,” Leena says.

The program was playfully laid out like a menu, with the skits acting as ‘Appetizers’, actor profiles the ‘Main Course’ and thank you’s the ‘Desserts’. Saris thrown surreptitiously on the walls created a colourful atmosphere in tune with the lively chatting of the roughly 60 people packed into the tiny Box Studio for the group’s third production, which ran from Sept 30th to Oct 3rd.

The cast was as colourful as a Benetton ad, incorporating actors of different cultural backgrounds. They even had a token white guy, Jason Vaisvila, who convinced the audience that he really wanted to be brown.

They call Bollywood, the Hollywood of India, their secret weapon. Audience members wait in anticipation for the first note of music hinting that the actors will break out in that dance that has come to represent South Asian culture. For those in need of a little cross-cultural pollination, that’s exactly what they get.

To achieve this, Leena and Munish blend dancing with a spill of derogatory remarks.

Some skits are light, some have a serious ring, but all leave the audience in stitches. “We can make a point resonate more through absurdity,” Leena says.

The show featured ensembles and cameos from local singer, Sabrina Saran who, for the skit “Fuck or Love?”, convincingly changed the song lyrics of a popular love song making the two mean the same thing. Her mellifluous voice completely outshone the hilarity of the lyrics, however. She sings effortlessly, even without music to back her up.

There were special appearances by past characters like the fluid ‘Snake Woman’, played by Leena, who sells a potion to Jason making him ‘brown’ for one night and so allowing him to pick up a brown girl, Preet, before choking his way back to his unloved, white, bearded self. The skit turned serious when Jason announced that he was experiencing reverse discrimination – the girl wouldn’t date him, explaining that her parents would never allow her to marry a white guy. Munish quickly brought the laughs back with a Dancogram revealing that Jason’s family actually stemmed from India. The boys got so excited that they laughed their way off stage, saying, “Let’s go eat Indian food, complain about our culture and find a white girl.” The audience members exploded into laughter, whether they fully understood or not.

Leena and Munish are anomalies, as they grew up ‘brown’ in small, predominantly white cities. Neither felt they particularly fit in but, upon moving to culturally diverse Vancouver, they found that nor did they fit others’ expectations of South Asian heritage. They have found their niche in their special ability to relate to both worlds. “All that you can do is be true to what you’re trying to say,” Munish says.

At Bollywood Shenanigan’s first show, I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter Chicken, all they’d hoped for was 20 people. Through word of mouth and tireless advertising, done solely by the two of them, they have created a show that can sell out four nights in a row. They may need to find a bigger venue for their ‘Best of’ show, planned for sometime this fall. Visit www.bollywoodshenanigans.com for more information.

If you’re feeling the urge to Bollywood dance, check out Diwali, a South Asian festival celebrating “the universal light that exists in everyone”. www.vandiwali.ca

//Sarah Kistler

Writer

VIVA LA OBSESION! Cuban Rappers message almost lost in translation

Do you ever have trouble understanding what the hell rappers are talking about? Well, try listening to a hip-hop group that only raps in Spanish.

Obsesion took the stage in Capilano’s cafeteria courtyard last Wednesday to share their incredible style of Cuban hip-hop. Though the lyrics were sung in Spanish, it was still a great time, with students dancing at the front and echoing back in crowd participation.

Alexey Rodriguez and Magia Lopez are a husband and wife hip-hop duo from the suburb of Regla, in Havana, Cuba. The band formed in 1996 shortly after they married. Without any label support, these two have been recording at home on a PC mixing console for over ten years. Although they would love to master their music in a studio, Alexey and Magia aren’t looking for fame. Instead, they’re trying to convey the importance of Cuban revolution through their music.

Obsesion’s performance was upbeat and energetic, regardless of the Spanish lyrics. The two definitely sung from the heart, but an obvious language barrier was at play. Not understanding the language made it seemingly more difficult for students to get into the music, but the two managed to pull it off.

Previous to being a member of Obsesion, Alexey had been a breakdancer and a fan of U.S. hip-hop, which Cubans refer to as “la moña.” Magia has her degree in communications and was a former member of an Afro-Cuban dance troupe before becoming a sculptor. Both Magia and Alexey were working as sculptors when the two met. They shared the same passion for hip-hop, not so much to make people “move” but to share a message about love, politics and social issues.

While writing, composing and producing for Obsesion, the two are still both active members in the Cuban community. They participate in a mixed media arts project called La Fabri-K, to help young people get in touch with other people in the arts community. The organization introduces young people to hip-hop and other arts like sculpting, poetry, and dance. The pair works in disadvantaged neighbourhoods around Havana to help better the community, as well as working in jails to spread inspiration through their music.

When sitting down to get inspired, the band listens to Jazz and other beats such as conga to ad a different flavour into their music. Although the band doesn’t have a recording contract they have shared the stage with The Roots, a popular American band famed for their live approach to hip-hop.

When asked about the importance of the U.S. Alexey voiced, “Of Course I have been influenced by American hip-hop.” With favourites such as Talib Kweli, Common, and Dead Prez, you can see the relationship. These artists are looking to spread a more important message then how fat their paycheques are. Obsesion also have a pretty impressive fanbase themselves, with American hip-hop icon Mos Def supporting them.

Despite the political turmoil between Cuba and the United States, Obsesion recently embarked on an American Tour. “People were great, they were there to enjoy the music. It’s only the people on top that you sense the bitterness from.” Not content with just spreading their outspoken lyrics through the States, Obsesion took the stage for the first time in Western Canada at Vancouver’s Hip-hop Versus War festival.

Obsesion is a talented band with a message, so if you’re interested in expanding your musical horizons, and maybe your Spanish, check out their MySpace page: www.myspace.com/obsesioncuba.

//Jazmine Bahr

Writer

DEGREES OF SEPARATION New Creative Writing program offers unique opportunities

Capilano University has long been recognized for its contributions to avant-garde creative writing. Literary masters Pierre Coupey, Daphne Marlatt, and Sharon Thesen once helmed the creative writing faculty, and legendary poet Robin Blaser was a frequent visitor of the college in the ‘70s. Now, Capilano offers a full Associate’s Degree in Creative Writing. But if you dream of being the next John Grisham or Stephen King, the program may not be for you.

“The difference between our program and those at UBC or UVic is that it isn’t market-oriented,” explains Reg Johanson, convener of the Creative Writing program at Capilano. “Those programs encourage students to adjust to the market, and this promotes a certain style of writing and a certain way of thinking about writing.” Rather than learn how to write a best-seller or get a six-figure advance from a corporate publishing house, students at Capilano are encouraged to become active in the writing community, to support small press and DIY publishing, and to experiment with new genres and forms.

The program is based on intensive workshop classes, in which students are expected to bring new writing every week, offer constructive criticism to their peers, and produce a strong portfolio of writing by the end of the semester. But new courses have also been introduced, including program-specific sections of English 100 and 103. Students not only learn how to write research papers, but also how to write artist statements, grant proposals, and critical reviews. “Rather than study texts and writing from a purely academic perspective, students study them from a literary perspective,” says Johanson.

It’s an idea that has already proven to be extremely popular. The program had a total of 183 applicants this year, of which only 50 to 60 students could be accepted. This impressive demand has led the faculty to consider a portfolio requirement. If this requirement is implemented, the program will become more exclusive and prestigious. However, the faculty’s goal is not to compete with existing Creative Writing degrees at UBC and UVic, but rather to offer a unique program unlike anything else available in Vancouver.

Johanson, along with creative writing professors Roger Farr and Crystal Hurdle, hopes to encourage a sense of community for writers at the University. “At Capilano, we try to create a situation that is more horizontal than vertical,” he explains. “We emphasize a greater connection between the community and the arts. The program finds its ultimate expression in smaller readings, like the Open Text series on campus, where the audience is on an even level with the writers, and writing is understood as being a shared process.”

An important component of the program is publishing, of course, but Johanson emphasizes that the program does not encourage students to abandon their style or write for specific markets in order to be published. “The writer’s individuality or uniqueness is always important,” he says. “We always start from a point of asking, ‘What do you want from this piece?’ Then we can introduce students to the expectations of publishing and work towards the quality of published work.”

The program has proven so successful that the Creative Writing faculty hopes to turn it into a four-year degree. Discussions are taking place about what kind of degree to offer, and the future of the program will ultimately depend on the still-uncertain future of Capilano as a University. Since the transformation of the College into a University in 2008, the discussion among the administration and faculty has focused on whether to offer specialized “niche” degrees unique to the university, or to offer general arts and science degrees similar to those available at SFU and UBC.

According to Roger Farr, the faculty initially visualized the Creative Writing program as being of the specialized “niche” or “applied” variety, but is now considering the possibility of building inside a general arts degree. However, discussions are still underway, and there may be a long way to go before Capilano University offers a Bachelor's degree in Creative Writing. All that Farr can confirm at this time is that third and fourth-year creative writing courses are in development.

Farr hopes to expand the program to introduce writing students to new media and creative methods. One proposed course is tentatively titled “Adaptation, Collaboration, and Performance”, in which students would adapt work from previous semesters for public performance, possibly in collaboration with students from other faculties.

Also in the works are courses in Creative Non-Fiction and Documentary Poetics. Creative Non-Fiction is self-explanatory, but Documentary Poetics may be a new genre to some. It evolved in the 20th century with the rise of journalism and film, and appropriates the methods of the documentary film for poetic purposes. This can mean using found text, or simply using the imagery, tone and style of documentary to break with the conventions of poetic form.

These courses are still in the planning stages, and students may not want to get their hopes up for a full degree program in the near future. However, they can take comfort in the existing program, which offers unique courses and knowledgeable, involved professors. The program also supports student publication The Liar, and encourages students to get involved with the university's twice-yearly poetry publication The Capilano Review. Students are encouraged to drop by the Capilano Review office, located in FIR 456, to find out more.

The department also organizes the Open Text Reading Series, a series of free readings on campus, which commenced in September with local poet Fred Wah. The next reading, featuring Montreal poet Angela Carr, will be on Thursday, October 8th, at 11:30 am in CE 148. Students may check http://capilanocreativewriting.blogspot.com for details on upcoming events.

//Laura Kane

Writer

THE TRUTH ABOUT THE LIAR Capilano’s poetry zine comes clean

  The Liar is a bi-annual poetry and creative writing zine exclusively edited by Capilano University students. It provides an opportunity for students to publish their own poetry, prose, and artwork. Although the English Department funds the Liar, it is an autonomous publication. Each term, a new editorial collective composed of students determines the content and style.

A high turn over rate is usually considered a bad thing, but in the case of the Liar, it allows for constant renewal and growth. Still, there is quite a knowledge gap in the Liar’s history. Some information has been lost. Other information seems to change depending on who is recalling it. With a twenty-two year history and revolving door editorial collective, it’s no wonder.

Former prof Pierre Coupey recalls bringing the idea of a student-run publication to his writing class in the late 1980’s. Students from Coupey’s class began publishing their own weekly broadsheet, which eventually grew into the student run literary magazine known as the Liar. The first volume is believed to have been edited by Derrick Stone and Pete Hofmann in spring 1987, though this issue is missing. The pair edited the second and third volumes as well.

Volume four was edited by Robert Pacey and Kimberley French. Pacey, now the owner of a Vancouver based graphic design company, had poetry published in the third volume. He took over editing when the previous editors moved on to SFU. The early volumes of the Lair included some well-known writers. For volume four, the editors managed to interview Margaret Atwood and included an excerpt from her novel, “Cat’s Eye”. The spring 1989 edition contained an original poem by Charles Bukowski. Pacey recalls that, at the time, the Liar was receiving many submissions in Bukowski’s style so they thought they “might as well go get him”. Pacey sent a letter to the poet, along with $5, writing, “have a beer on me and send me a poem”. To his surprise, Bukowski sent him a poem the following week.

Capilano English instructors, including Sharon Thesen (1990) and Ryan Knighton (1996), have also been published in the Liar. However, the focus always remained student creative writing. Book reviews appeared in the first few years, as publishers were regularly sending new books to the collective. There was only one unofficial rule regarding submissions: “No poems about cats”. For the record, this rule still applies.

Along with perpetual changes in the editorial collective and the visual appearance of the Liar, the name has also undergone transformations. From fall 1992 until spring 1996, the zine was published as the Lyre. The volumes, which were larger, glossy, and professional in appearance, were published once a year. The reason for the name change is uncertain. Prof Roger Farr remarked that the name played with “the oral tradition of poetry”, noting that in ancient Greece, poetry was often spoken while the lyre was played. Whatever the reason, after four yearly volumes, the Lyre disappeared.

Then, in 2005, Roger Farr brought the idea of a Liar revival to students in his Creative Writing class. Seven students came together to create the first issue in ten years. The original Liar name was restored, while the zine shifted to include writing solely by students. Carmen Papalia, co-editor of that, recalls, “Nobody really knew what they were doing, but we learned together and had way too much fun doing so—we would often jump on a trampoline to ‘bounce’ ideas off each other”. The English Department provided a budget of $500. Farr supplied the crew with examples of past issues of the Liar and a timeline for the production before setting them loose.

Aubyn Rader, another co-editor in 2005, remembers Roger Farr telling him that “working on magazines doesn't change much. You have different budgets and you can print more copies. But the production process is always nearly the same. You accept submissions, you lay them out, you print them.” After leaving Capilano, Rader and Papalia, along with most of the Liar collective of 2005, went on to create their own magazine, Memewar, which was voted Best Free Literary Magazine by the Georgia Straight last year. 

The departure of the revival crew resulted in the creation of the infamous Jedi Council. Like each successive collective, the Jedis aspired to distinguish themselves from previous Liar incarnations. Co-editor Laura Kane focused on attracting a wider audience by spamming Capilano with hot pink posters and speaking to creative writing classes. Still, they only received about 25 submissions each term, of which 12-15 were published. With only four co-editors for each of the 2006 issues, they were all involved in every aspect of the zine’s production. “It's a great way to get experience if you want to work in publishing, editing, or just plain writing.” said Kane. “Through working on the Liar, I got experience in selecting and editing content, working with a collective, laying out a magazine, distributing it on campus and in small bookstores, organizing launch parties, and designing websites.”

While Farr agrees that students benefit from their experience working in an editorial capacity, he stresses the benefit is not limited to university studies. “Working with different people and building friendships is crucial for a lively and active literary circle. The best writing emerges from friendships and affinities, not from lessons and reading.”

For many writers, the attraction to the Liar is the possibility of being published. Most university literary journals publish the work of graduate students, faculty, and even professional writers. The Liar offers first and second year students a rare opportunity for publication. “The game of literary stardom is bankrupt. DIY rules,” says Creative Writing prof Reg Johanson. “ I'm glad we can introduce students to the means of their own literary production, and hopefully their own intellectual emancipation.”

The writing in student-run literary magazines is autonomous and more experimental than writing in most other literary magazines. Farr notes that, in general, student magazines tied to other creative writing programs may be closely affiliated with the universities themselves while the Liar is closer to student culture. “There is a real history of radical, risky student mags in Vancouver,” says Farr. “That spirit is crucial and it’s alive in the Liar.”

The current Liar Collective is accepting submissions until October 30th. The issue will be available at the end of November with the launch party occurring around the same time. The evening will include readings by the Liar writers as well as performances by local musicians. A few copies of the spring 2009 edition are still floating around. Look for them in the Library, Bookstore, and Writing Centre. To submit writing, ask questions, or tell tall tales, email liarcollective@gmail.com  All submissions will be judged anonymously.

//Jennifer Cole

Writer

CHRISTIAN AUDIGIER AND ED HARDY Our flashy legacy of crap?

Since 2004, designer Christian Audigier has found great success in marketing multiple clothing lines including ‘Christian Audigier’, ‘Ed Hardy', and ‘Smet’. The clothing lines are all similar in design, featuring lots of crystals, metallic iron-on prints of weapons, tacky slogans like “Born On the Streets”, and large brand name logos adorning each garment. But what started out as a unique style of clothing has evolved into some horrible mess of over branding, as now the designs adorn everything from Ed Hardy brand hand sanitizer, to Ed Hardy brand bottled water, and even a special edition Christian Audigier Lamborghini. All in a grotesque capitalist orgy of over consumption and utter greed.

I’ll admit, when this stuff first came out a couple years ago it was cool, yet terribly over-priced. However, the price itself became the line’s major selling point, as it was one of those things only the rich and stupid could buy. I’m guilty of spending a bunch of money on shirts, hats, and even pajama pants. At the time, these things seemed like good investments, but that was a few years ago before I found out that Chinese knock-offs were about the same quality, and about a quarter of the price – you just had to know where to look.

The brands gained local infamy a few years ago when the Vancouver Police Department Integrated Gang Task Force banned people from wearing any Christian Audigier and Ed Hardy clothing in the Granville Entertainment District and in bars and clubs across metro Vancouver. The clothes had become ubiquitous with gang members to the point that anyone wearing these brands was turned away as part of the ‘Bar Watch’ program designed to keep known gang members out of public establishments, and to lessen the chance of violence involving innocent bystanders. Eventually though, the majority of people decided to stop wearing the stuff because it got played out. Everyone and their dog started wearing it and suddenly crappy imitations flooded stores as retailers tried to cash in on this generation’s BeDazzler. Christian Audigier and Ed Hardy are no longer ‘the shit’, they’re just kind of ‘shit’.

This trend stopped being cool when Christian Audigier decided: “Fuck just selling over priced tacky clothing, let’s sell over priced tacky everything!” No, he didn’t really say that, but considering that you can buy Ed Hardy brand anything, from car air fresheners, to underwear, to European beer, it becomes painfully clear that this is a case of ‘lifestyle’ marketing pushed to the extreme. It’s even sadder to think that there is still a market in this economy for completely over priced tacky crap.

What’s worse is that Christian Audigier and Ed Hardy gear is starting to pop up on every mid-life crisis victim that can afford this crap – sorry, cougars, it doesn’t make you look hip when you’re in your 40’s, it makes you look like a ghetto, busted-ass trailer park resident who probably has a few ads on Craigslist’s erotic services section and a coke problem.

So fuck you, Christian Audigier. You and your products represent everything wrong with society. Here’s an idea: why not just start making Ed Hardy brand douche bags? Obviously, one could argue that they already produce Ed Hardy douche bags, just not the literal kind. 

Ultimately, both Christian Audigier and Ed Hardy will stand as testaments to the kind of sick culture of over consumption that has permeated this decade. I’m sure that just as we have 1980’s themed parties today, it’s not too bold a prediction that in twenty years they’ll probably have dress up parties featuring Ed Hardy and Kanye West’s ‘Shutter Shades’, all the while collectively wondering: “Did this crap really used to be cool?”

//Aaron Bolus

Writer

MICHAEL MOORE IS NO HERO Let's all ignore his latest film

SASKATOON (CUP) – As if 2009 wasn’t already a rough year for capitalism, Michael Moore has set his sights on our venerated economic system.

In his latest film, “Capitalism: A Love Story,” Moore uses the current financial fallout as the backdrop for his attack on the economic system that brought the world to its knees almost exactly one year ago, as well as the culture and politics that have allowed for greed to be the ruling currency of our age.

“Capitalism” will hit theatres Oct. 2 and early reviews have been almost unanimously positive, but the last thing we need is Michael Moore’s latest propaganda flooding multiplexes.

Moore has carved out a career for himself by championing the cause of the little guy but his methods and motivations are far from pure. His first documentary, “Roger & Me,” came out 20 years ago and chronicled the closing of a GM plant in Moore’s hometown of Flint, Mich.

The central theme of the film is that Moore cannot get an interview with GM CEO Roger Smith, the heartless tycoon responsible for all the misery in Flint. The only problem is that Moore did meet with Smith. Twice! Yet Moore conveniently left that out of the film, since it made a more appealing story line to exclude Smith.

Although he had taken out a second mortgage on his home in order to film “Roger & Me,” the risk soon paid off. Before long, Moore was producing television shows and more documentaries, all with the David vs. Goliath motif. But the pattern of deception he had set in his first film proved to be too good to abandon.

“Bowling for Columbine,” Moore’s anti-gun documentary focusing on the 1999 Columbine high school shootings of Littleton, Colo., used similar sleight of hand techniques to make his point. The iconic first scene of the film, in which Moore gets a free rifle for signing up for a bank account, is alleged to have been entirely prearranged.

Footage of NRA president Charlton Heston was taken out of context to paint him as an insensitive gun-nut taking joy in the Columbine massacre. In fact, the NRA cancelled most scheduled events at its meeting in Denver that year. It only maintained its general meeting, which as a non-profit, the NRA was forced to hold by law.

Heston holding a rifle over his head and growling, “From my cold dead hands,” took place a whole year after the massacre but Moore massaged the footage to suggest Heston was doing so in the grieving community of Littleton immediately after the shootings.

“Bowling for Columbine” went on to win an academy award despite its many flaws, launching Moore into mainstream consciousness and making him an icon of the American left wing. His subsequent films “Fahrenheit 9/11” and “Sicko” have made Moore the wealthiest documentarian in history.

Canadians should know better than most as to how deceitful Moore can be. In his 2007 health care documentary “Sicko,” he presents Canada’s health care system as a utopian project that leaves everyone happy and satisfied. Although it is no doubt superior to American health care, Canada’s health care also has its problems such as long waiting lines and chronic underfunding. Canadians recognize this but Moore glosses over it in order to forward his political agenda.

Also, in “Bowling for Columbine” Moore walks around an affluent neighbourhood in Toronto and claims to find nothing but unlocked doors, What a great country Canada must be! Moore’s producer has since admitted that only 40 per cent of the doors they tried were unlocked, but the truth has never stopped Michael Moore before.

Like many Canadians, Debbie Melnyk and Rick Caine felt Moore was a progressive voice in American politics, fighting the conservative establishment through humour and wit. So, in 2004, the two filmmakers travelled south to film a documentary about the man they admired. However, they soon unearthed many of the common criticisms against Moore that they had previously dismissed as Republican smears.

Melnyk and Caine also found that Moore was a slippery fish when it came to actually speaking with them about his work. But even though they could not confront Moore directly, they exposed his many lies and misrepresentations in their own documentary “Manufacturing Dissent.”

Documentaries are strange hybrids of news and entertainment. On one hand, they try to shed light on areas of concern. On the other hand, they also have financial pressures that encourage dishonest behaviour if it might make the film more profitable.

The Center for Social Media at American University recently released a report about documentary filmmakers and what guides their storytelling. Although most people interviewed strive to be honest, they also admit to fudging the truth and manipulating certain facts and sequences in order to show the “higher truth.”

In Michael Moore’s case, this fudging is especially pronounced. Furthermore, by casting himself as a working class hero, the millionaire documentarian merely exploits the working class. In both “Bowling for Columbine” and “Fahrenheit 9/11” he uses tragedy to further his own anti-Bush agenda. In “Sicko,” he uses the stories of Americans screwed over by the health care system to make himself out to be a hero.

In Moore’s upcoming release “Capitalism: A Love Story,” he once again uses the truly tragic consequences of the financial meltdown and its many victims to cast himself as the star. And once again, Moore has confused celebrity for credibility.

//Ishmael N. Daro

CUP Opinions Bureau Chief

RIOT SHIELD In Defense of Rioting

This year, rioting occurred in Greece, France, Peru and Iceland, to name a few countries, as a response to damaging government action or economic policies. Here in Vancouver, spray-painted 'Riot 2010' slogans incite people to do just that come Olympic time. When democratic processes are ignored and people are suffering, why not fight back?

The first and most common argument against rioting as a legitimate act for social change is that it is violent. Harming people is rarely the motivation or the outcome of a riot (other than clashes between rioters and police) and harm done to innocents is even more rare. Usually, destructive acts are focused on property. It is odd, therefore, that riots are described as violent, yet we often fail to recognise the much worse brutality that reigns down on rioters from police. There are two largely unquestioned influences at play here. The first is the hierarchy that exists in our society and the second is the state's monopoly on violence.

The unspoken hierarchy dictates that people higher on the hierarchy and their property are more important than the lives of those below them. George Bush didn't get put on trial for war crimes, and oil companies in the Alberta Tar Sands spread cancer causing agents amongst local communities daily. When concerned citizens try to stop these immoral acts, other people, people in dark blue uniforms with an ever-increasing arsenal of repressive implements, step in to defend the elite and money-making interests. Starving people stealing food from Safeway encounter this hierarchy, as do indigenous communities across this country trying to keep harmful resource extraction industries off their land. The concept of property being of higher value than a life is monstrously immoral and I challenge the notion that violence can be committed against inanimate objects. Violent is the ways in which people and planet are exploited. Rioters damage private property as a symbolic gesture and because the only place economic institutions register hurt is in the profit margin.

The basic framework for this hierarchy is our legal system. People and entities with power seek to maintain their power and use the legal system to stack the cards in their favour. Breaking the law is commonly considered immoral and institutions such as major media, the police, and the courts treat activities that threaten those higher on the hierarchy especially harshly. An example of this is environmental activist Jeffrey Michael Luers, who originally received a 22-year prison sentence in Oregon for burning three SUVs.

Law does not equal justice and violence on behalf of the police, and military is the only way this legal hierarchy can exist. So important are police to this hierarchy that they can commit violence towards citizens with almost complete impunity. So privileged are they in their power, that to defend one's self against brutalization is to commit assault of a peace officer, a severe crime. This organized repression is institutionalized, normalized and largely accepted. Rioting defies this.

             

Rioting is not simply an isolated act of economic sabotage or a challenge to the state's monopoly on violence. Rioting has a far greater purpose in the scheme of a movement. In a televised debate, Malcolm X pointed out that “as soon as the spirit of rebellion or revolution began to spread amongst the masses of black people in [the U.S.A.] . . . and they showed that they were not confined to [a] nonviolent approach, then the government . . . began to sit up and take notice.” The rise in black militancy, symbolized by Malcolm X and the Nation of Islam, created a threat much greater than the non-violent movement led my Martin Luther King Jr. The result was a much greater acceptance for King's movement by institutions and members of the public who had previously resisted their goals. This good cop bad cop routine works.

Another strategic benefit of a riot is the building of momentum often associated with the creation of formal or informal alliances. In late 2008 and early 2009 the streets of many Greek cities were literally ablaze. What spawned from the police murder of Alexandros Grigoropoulos, a 15-year-old boy on a university campus, turned into several weeks of rioting. Discontent grew from police brutality to encompass economic opportunism by the elite in the midst of the global economic crisis, government scandal, unemployment, and many other social issues. Astoundingly university and high school students, communists, socialists, anarchists, workers, labour unions, immigrants, the unemployed and teachers (to make a partial-list) all showed up in great numbers. The affect of all of these groups being in solidarity on the front lines of social change cannot be understated. The rioting has stopped but the bonds formed between people and organizations are not easily broken. This united front will force the Greek government to be accountable and properly representative.

Perhaps most importantly, riots prove to the dominant culture that struggles like those for dignity, freedom from oppression, equity, and sustainability are not games – They should not be ignored. A lack of responsibility breeds consequences.

Currently we have a Prime Minister who, at a G20 summit, stated Canada has 'no history of colonialism,' and has taken every opportunity to disrupt international environmental initiatives. Good-cop progressive groups have largely failed to force a political culture change. While the point of this article is not necessarily to entice you to be one of the bad cops, I hope you at least understand their importance and support them in whatever way you see fit.

//Lionel Kitz

Writer

YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO DIE But you will anyway.

You’re terminal. In constant pain. You’ve prepared your last words and are ready to get on with dying, already. You reach over to pull your own plug and… your hand is viciously slapped away by the long arm of the law.

Who has the right to tell you when to die? According to the Canadian government, they do. Accidental death is one thing, but if there is any prior acceptance or consent associated with your death… well heck, that just ain’t gonna fly. Euthanasia, or the (consensual) painless putting-to-death of a terminally ill or severely disabled person, is illegal in Canada under sections 14 and 241 of the Criminal Code. That doesn’t necessarily stop it from occurring, but it certainly makes it more difficult, considering the potential charge of 14 years in prison for anyone who assists in the suicide of another person.

Passive euthanasia is the most commonly practiced method, and is basically the withholding of life-saving procedures. Typically this is by request of the patient, spoken directly to the doctor or else through a living will. In BC, living wills, or “representation agreements” are acknowledged to allow adults to arrange in advance all the details of their care in case they become incapable of making decisions independently. Living wills are a handy tool to prevent things like elder abuse, though family members often contest them, feeling instead that their own better intentions ought to be taken into more serious consideration. 

Active euthanasia is when an individual’s life is terminated through specific steps, most commonly through overdosing on painkillers or sleeping pills. The main difference between passive and active euthanasia is that with passive euthanasia the doctor is not actually killing the person, they are simply not saving them.

Recently the Vancouver Public Library disallowed Exit International, an Australian-based assisted-suicide organization, to hold a seminar at the downtown library. The organization planned to hold both a public discussion of the right to die movement, as well as a more exclusive (only those aged 55 or older) conference where they went over the best ways to kill oneself. It was the latter event that prompted the library to seek legal advice, and consequently cancel the whole thing. They were worried that holding an event that taught people proper methods for committing suicide would fall under section 241 of the Criminal Code, and that they would be held accountable.

What I don’t understand is what the big deal is in the first place. Do we have the right to die? Of course we do! Eventually, we are all going to die. Insisting that prolonging the dying process is the best solution for everyone is a waste of time and resources. There are plenty of people who wish to continue living that the government does not support in any way, yet as soon as the subject of death is brought up, everyone feels the need to take control of the situation.

Is it not ultimately an individual’s decision whether they live or die? We are given responsibility to live our own lives, yet the decision to end it is not ours. In holding power over the way we end our lives, the government is essentially withholding our personal freedom.

We are given the right to kill ourselves slowly through cigarettes, poor nutrition and so on, yet if we become terminally ill we aren’t allowed to cut ourselves off short in any way. It isn’t as though it’s for our own good, either. Things like seatbelt laws are for our own good, particularly as car crashes can be draining on our health care system. Euthanasia harms nobody.

The reality is that suicide happens. It is totally barbaric that the government feels entitled to leave people to their own messy devices, and even punish those who try to help, while the resources to end lives in a more effective way are available. Euthanasia ought to be legalized properly, in order for Canadians to truly have freedom over themselves.

From the M*A*S*H theme song: “Suicide is painless/ it brings on many changes/ and I can take or leave it if I please…”

//Sarah Vitet

Writer

XOXO XX XY Who cares who Letterman has sex with?

Using his show as the vehicle for confession also puts him at a great advantage - he’s in the power seat. He’s free to say exactly what he wants, with no one editing what he says or steering the conversation with questions.

 

I’m watching David Letterman’s confession about sleeping with several female staffers of the Tonight Show over the years, and I’m finding it thoroughly creepy. Not because of the actual confession, but because of the audience reaction. It felt exactly like that moment in Natural Born Killers when Mickey fights Mallory’s dad; it’s reminiscent of Leave it to Beaver, laugh track intact, despite how thoroughly inappropriate and incongruous it is.

Like when he talks about finding the package of blackmail material in the backseat of his car: “I just want to reiterate how terrifying this moment is. Because there’s something very insidious about... is he standing right there, is he hiding under the car, am I going to get a tap on the shoulder?...” [Cue Laughter from Audience.]

The thing is, it isn't Letterman that's cuing the laughter. There is no joke in Letterman's 10-minute long monologue, a straight-forward recounting of the horror of finding out that someone has 1) Broken into his car, leaving him feel physically violated, and 2) threatened to shake the foundations of his life by revealing a secret, leaving him feel physically violated. The audience finds this giggle-worthy?!

There's a range of other emotions I could imagine, like sympathy that he had to go through that, or self-righteousness because you would never give anyone ammunition to blackmail you, or disappointment in the moral fiber of this culture. Uncomfortable laughter, even. But chuckles and applause, hooting and hollering? That is some grand disconnect. I wonder how many members of the audience thought it was just some epically long, serious-sounding joke. About five minutes into the ten minute story, the hoots and applause become less frequent.

Letterman told the world that Robert "Joe" Halderman, a producer for CBS news show 48 Hours, tried to blackmail him, saying unless Letterman gave him $2 million he would air out the host’s dirty little secrets in a book and movie. So, Letterman pressed charges and came clean on air, admitting to cheating on his wife who he has been with for 23 years.

Two women have since been named, partners in long-standing affairs with Letterman. Stephanie Birkitt, who has worked on Letterman’s show since 1996, dated Halderman, and it was Birkitt’s diaries that were leveraged as proof that Letterman was sneaking around. Holly Hester has come forward saying that she and Letterman had an affair when she was an intern in the early 1990s. Hester even told the press that she was “madly in love” with Letterman, and “would have married him.”

So that’s fine, I understand why he came out with it, because even if he did shut Halderman out, the press would still get their hands on the story (although considering the relationships took place in the 90s, I’m surprised it was kept quiet so long). I’m just surprised he didn’t do it on 60 Minutes. But hey, if your marriage is going to hell, you may as well get the associated ratings, right? 4.2 million viewers tuned in to watch Letterman apology to his wife the night after his confession.

Using his show as the vehicle for confession also puts him at a great advantage - he’s in the power seat. He’s free to say exactly what he wants, with no one editing what he says or steering the conversation with questions. The only interjection besides the audience was an offstage “Oh no,” from the Tonight Show’s band leader, Paul Schaeffer. On Letterman, you’ve got bright overhead lights and a cheery, campy atmosphere, rather than the dark chairs of shame reserved for 60 Minutes guests.

Putting it on his own show demonstrates that Letterman is a “take the bull by the horns” kind of guy and was, after all, only doing what guys do. He made jokes the following day that even the OnStar lady wasn’t speaking to him, and about how truly sorry he was for hurting those around him, especially his wife, but he did it in a way that a cheeky little boy who knows he’ll be forgiven does. I’m wondering how much the on-air Dave matches up with the off-air Dave.

According to a poll on PerezHilton.com, only 18 per cent believed that CBS should fire Dave for having sex with Tonight Show staff. Technically, he didn’t do anything wrong, just personally amoral, and that’s not what CBS cares about. As long as Letterman’s ratings stay high, his future is secure. CBS does have a serious policy that states that any employees having a relationship must tell human resources so they can monitor the workplace environment for things like favoritism or potential sexual harassment. But, Letterman doesn’t work for CBS, he works for World Wide Pants, his production company.

To be honest, I don’t think anyone would care as much if he hadn’t given the story a primetime slot. An aging Hollywood powerhouse has sex outside his relationship? With people he works with? Gasp! No one’s looking to Letterman as a moral compass. I’m just waiting for Leno to confess to the same thing, but only if someone tries to extort him too.

//Megan Drysdale

Columnist

LOVE, AWKWARDLY Episode IV: Dead Ends

We met at Starbucks for coffee and talked for four hours. I was shocked at how well we got along... as if we were old friends. His plaid shirt and bright blue eyes didn't hurt either. I wound up smitten, and by the time the second date rolled around I was more than keen. The second date ended up lasting three days. By the end of day one, my phone battery died and all my friends were panicking...

Last Time in Love, Awkwardly: Another setup gone awry, leaving our ‘hero’ in the dust of Failed Romance Lane. With the ghost of Relationship Past looming, and two bad friend set-up dates in the can, perhaps it is time to find someone the hard way. And by hard, I do mean online.

Thanksgiving weekend was fast approaching, and two of my friends were headed to Vancouver island to visit their families. I ended up house sitting for them in Kitsilano and taking a few days for myself to decompress. I took a trip to the corner store for snacks and ended up running into my old coworker, Sam. Over small talk she told me how she'd met the guy of her dreams. Recently skeptical on love, I was not impressed at her answer to my question of how they met: "Craigslist." This concept was new. Wasn't Craigslist a website for selling your couch and finding a new job?

I walked back and popped in one of my favourite movies, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. Watching this is always a dilemma for me. Every time the memories of love and love lost are erased halfway through the film, I have the same internal dialogue: “Never having love, or to have loved and lost it.” This particular viewing was exceptionally painful. By the credit roll, I wondered if I would ever feel again what I felt in my relationship with “the ex”. Still, despite the film’s idealistic views of love being projected onto me, I figured if Sam could meet someone so great on Craigslist, why couldn’t I?

I grabbed my laptop. I wasn't even aware Craigslist had a personals section. When I logged onto the Men Seeking Men section, it was not to my surprise that I found postings mostly along the lines of "Hot Daddy Seeks Blowjob In Stanley Park At 1 AM" or "Rim Me In My Car In Ten Minutes." I was not defeated, though. I decided to make my own post. I titled my ad "Not Just A Hookup" and explained that I was looking for someone to connect with on a more personal level than just premature ejaculation. I even referenced Eternal Sunshine, stating that I was a romantic looking for the same. Essentially, I was a bleeding heart in a sea of throbbing penises.

The first and only person to respond to my posting was a guy named Andy, a pleasant and tall Italian ad exec only a few years older than me. We met at Starbucks for coffee and talked for four hours. I was shocked at how well we got along, and how I wasn't insulted or disgusted with anything he had to say. We talked about some pretty personal things and the conversation had a very natural flow, as if we were old friends. His plaid shirt and bright blue eyes didn't hurt either. I wound up smitten, and by the time the second date rolled around I was more than keen.

The second date ended up lasting three days. By the end of day one, my phone battery died and all my friends were panicking over my unexplained absence.

Although physicality remained relatively tame, we were soon seeing each other quite regularly. By the third week, after one of the many dinners he bought me, we went back to his loft and, in the middle of cuddling, he broke some pretty rough news to me: "I think you're really great, but I'm actually quite deeply in love with someone else." I was outraged. This person, who responded to an ad I posted explaining that I'm not a typical whore, who I told some very personal things to, who was the first person I was intimate with since my relationship, throwing a total curve ball at me out of nowhere! But the look on his face didn't have sexual misconduct written on it at all. With his face completely stern, he looked right at me and said "I'm in love with my best friend, who died two years ago in a car crash." Suddenly, my spiteful thoughts came back to haunt me in a karmic twist. The idea of love felt so temporary and fleeting, that even in this fraction of hope, I was instantly brought back to reality. Nothingness at square one.

I went home that night and removed my Craigslist ad in defeat. I now understood the nature of all the other ads. Anything more than a quick fuck on a place like Craigslist was simply unobtainable. If only I was like the rest of my demographic, and searching for "Bear Loving Twink for Threesome." Ugh.

Robots Will Kill You Episode Three: Keeping An Eye Out For the Smaller Things In Life

Large things tend to scare people. Innovation is all fine and good as long as it isn’t 50 feet tall and engulfed in a spire of lighting - those types of things scream “he has bodies in the basement” to the general public. Most people reach the conclusion that our “humanity” will be lost if we give in to this new technology. The Large Hadron Collider brought on paranoia of the world being sucked through a black hole with little left but a void within space. Turns out the thing isn’t even working.
What people should fear is the small. Rather than commercial traffic on highways and metropolis cities, the most important form of traffic management will be managing the operation of artificial substances within the human body. Nanotechnology is what the next decade hopes to fully integrate into the world, whether the world likes it or not.

The myriad of theories being thrown around about the uses and misuses for nanobots are all far from modest. A veritable philosopher’s stone of nanotechnology has always been what most would label “magic bullets”: molecule-sized agents capable of delivering drugs to sites of disease within the human body. Basically, it’s Fantastic Voyage minus the whole shrink ray scheme, because that would be silly. Instead of shrink rays, we’ll have tiny robots designed to seek out and destroy cancer cells.

A researcher by the name of Virginia Nazarica Borza has developed what is being publicized as the first in ‘AntiCancer NanoTech‘  by combining water-based proteins found in the blood stream with radioactive elements (specifically, isotope rhenium-188). The idea is that the radioisotopes coupled to nanoparticles could deliver a high dose of radioactivity to a tumour as the element, while sparing surrounding tissues any hefty damage. The radioisotope emits high-energy electrons as it decays radioactively, so potential side-effects are at a minimum (which is the closest thing to a gold star in the world of science).

There are those that calculate that within 10 years, we’ll have nanobots that can invade the human brain and set up neural connections to replace damaged ones (i.e. rewire the brain). So the application of “magic bullets” go far beyond merely wiping out infection. Aside from the point on applications with humans, a lingering question that stands between such technology and the door of reality is “how does one mass produce such things?”.

So far, the most coherent way of building such devices seems to be by retooling things that are already small enough to invade the human body on a molecular level. Most methods involve manipulating cells or by assimilating living bacteria with an electronic circuit (or in a much more alarmist terms: Nano Cyborgs!). Chemists at the University of Nebraska who developed the first bacterial cyborg found that their device continues to survive and operate even after the death of the host. The only downside to this is that they now have to figure out what to do with it, and more importantly how to fuse it to human biological material. Most working in the field see the scenario of self replicated nanobots as a likely outcome of all the work being done now.

Engineer, and ‘father’ of nanotechnology, Eric Drexler has the goal to create “auto-assemblers” the size of cells, which would be programmed to collect raw materials from the natural world, such as atoms and molecules, and convert them into the building blocks of the desired product. This would also include, for such devices, the ability to replicate themselves. The biggest fear to develop out of this has been dubbed the “Gray-Goo problem”. Gray goo is what would happen if one of the auto-assemblers malfunctioned (because nothing is perfect) and the self-replication never stopped. The end result is what researchers,including Drexler himself, have described as a gray mass within the void of space.

But we don’t have to worry about this becoming reality for, what, 10 or maybe 20 years? I’m pretty sure something else will kill us all before that happens.

//Sam Macdonald

Black Belt

Sam MacDonald has been writing for the Cap Courier for more than three years now, and will continue to until the voices instruct him to stop.

AUCC CALLS FOR INCREASED INVESTMENTS Millions of dollars asked to be set aside to increase student population

 Our population is aging. We must be more
productive so that proportionally fewer workers
can support our society.

[Editor's Note: Capilano U is not part of the AUCC. However, for our courses and degrees to be recognized or transferable to provinces outside of BC we need to be accreditted by their association.  We include this article to familiarize the student with the AUCC and the work they do for Canadian Universities.]

OTTAWA (CUP) – The Association of Universities and Colleges of Canada (AUCC) has presented a briefing to the House of Commons standing committee on finance in hopes that millions of dollars will be set aside for government granting agencies, international student recruitment strategies, and Aboriginal student support in next year’s federal budget.

On Oct. 8, Paul Davidson, President and CEO of the AUCC, spoke to committee members in a follow-up report to their pre-budget recommendations from this past August.

“Now that short-term stimulus efforts have helped Canada emerge from the recession, Canada must continue to invest in generating knowledge,” read Davidson’s speaking notes from Oct. 8. “Our population is aging. We must be more productive so that proportionally fewer workers can support our society.”

In their pre-budget submissions sent to the finance committee on Aug. 14, the AUCC outlined three recommendations, which included investments in research through federal granting agencies, financial support for Aboriginal students, and funding for an international student recruitment strategy.

“This is part of the Budget 2010 process,” noted AUCC VP National Affairs André Dulude. The Oct. 8 briefing “was really to present the three requests – we were asked to go in with three priorities, three [requests].”

Each of the three requests included a five-year plan to direct the funding. In terms of research support, the AUCC has proposed investing $400 million each year for the first two years, starting in 2010, and subsequently investing $250 million per year in the three following years.

“We would seek an increase of $1.5 billion in total in first the core programs of the three granting councils,” Dulude explained. “They had a budget reduction last year of five per cent, so we’re hoping that this year the government will come up with an increase for direct and institutional costs, as well as more investments into post-doctoral fellows.”

The AUCC has also proposed a pilot project fund to help universities promote completion of secondary school in Aboriginal communities, with the ideal plan of funneling $65 million into the fund for the first year, and $55 million in each of the four years thereafter. The AUCC’s international recruitment strategy involves investing $20 million per year for five years to promote Canadian universities abroad.

“I must say that all parties were extremely receptive yesterday,” Dulude said about the Oct. 8 committee presentation. He further explained that the AUCC will continue to work with the government for the next month and a half to provide cost breakdowns for each of the three requests, followed by further consultations with the university and political communities, resulting in a formal submission to the Minister of Finance by late November.

//Emma Godmere

CUP Ottawa Bureau Chief

THE SAN TELMO TANGO Notes from the field

“As I see it, it probably really is good for the soul to be a tourist, even if it’s only once in a while. Not good for the soul in a refreshing or enlivening way, though, but rather in a grim, steely-eyed, let’s-look-honestly-at-the-facts-and-find-some-way-to-deal-with-them way.”

-David Foster Wallace, from Consider the Lobster

I’ve been reading Consider the Lobster… well, the first essay, that one at the beginning about the porn industry where David, intrepid reporter, Foster Wallace troupes down to Vegas to intertwine his (titanic) neuroses with the least palatable parts of the Adult Video News (AVN) Awards, and in the process creates a massively entertaining essay. Reading the part where, in answer to the porn industry’s stock defence, “We’re just giving people what they want,” DFW responds with the so obvious (that it’s brilliant) truth: “There are parts of ourselves we shouldn’t feed.” Reading it was actually a transcendent experience for me. It offered respite from the claustrophobia I’ve always felt when confronted with the rabbit-hole logic that the porn industry, and all its analogues in the different market sectors, use to justify the grand Autophagia Americana their products are a symptom of. But I think why it touched me was that, like most ex-pats revelling at the ends of the Earth and using their post industrial dollars to live rich for a little while, I’d been feeding parts of myself that are perhaps better left starved...

  

I’m trying in Spanish to explain all this to a woman named Celia in a Simpsons themed bar in San Telmo, Buenos Aires, Argentina. Life-sized paper mâché statues of Homer and Marge and Bart and Maggie hang down from the walls and the ceiling. We’re drinking Argentine knock-off Duff beer.

“It’s like… America,” I say in broken Spanish, “if it were a man… would masturbate…” and then, stroke of genius, I ad: “always.”

A statement which causes her to be confused. I sit there and try to think of how to explain that the reason DFW wrote so brilliantly about the saddest parts of America is because, in a way, he was one of them; that I think he’s a kind of modern day Jesus; that he died for our sins so that everyone else could go on living…

The bar’s four TV’s are blaring the Simpsons, and I ask her why the show is so popular in Argentina. “There must be so much about it you don’t get,” I say (insensitively).

“They’re just like the Argentine family,” she replies. “The dad is drunk and he only wants to hang out with his friends. The mom stays at home and does all the work. The son always gets in trouble. It’s because of this people think it’s funny.”

“What about all the cultural references?” I ask.

“Cultural references?” she says.

The episode that’s playing is this one where Carl tells Lenny he thinks the US could use a military dictator, “like Juan Perón.”

“Perón was great,” he says, “when he disappeared you, you stayed disappeared.”

There’s a chorus of “Hijo de puta!” from the bartenders. I try but fail to catch an eye and share a disapproving head shake. I’m in the country working for a magazine on Argentine culture and like any good journalist I know that Perón—husband to Evita , of “Don’t cry for me Argentina” fame, whose grave still overflows with flowers—was no dictator.

Then Carl ads "plus, his wife was Madonna.” And I look down at my Madonna, no virgin she; and she’s been watching me watch the TV. She looks like she’s about to cry. “Listen to me,” she says, “I came here to tell you something.” She glances down at the floor for a second and then back up. “I’m pregnant,” she says. “It’s yours.”

To which, thinking the word for pregnant—embarazada—is a cognate of the English embarrassed, I respond “Why?”

To which she says, “Because you fucked me.”

To which (I think) I respond: “Why would that make you embarrassed?”

But actually respond: “Why would that make you pregnant?” 

To which she responds by staring at me blankly and confusedly.

So I get out my pocket dictionary and look up embarazada and when I see what it means my ears start to ring, the room closes down around the dictionary in my hands and my whole body involuntarily tenses until I can feel my shoulders pressing up against the sides of my neck and I realize I’ve been running my hands through my hair over and over again.

Then all the abject terror is suddenly magnified when I remember that abortions are completely illegal in Argentina.

“Fucking fuck!” I say, because what Celia doesn’t know is that I’d actually been planning to break up with her that night. All the Simpsons talk was really just me putting off that conversation, something I can’t help but do because I share with the Internet generation a deep fear of real world consequences and emotional confrontation.

(The subtext to everything above is that the whole time I’d been in the restaurant, I’d actually been trying to rationalize postponing the break-up until I could do it via Facebook. Isn’t that actually the brave thing to do [I thought to myself]? Isn’t it braver to do the thing I don’t want to [stay with Celia for another day] than the thing I actually do [get up and leave]? Doesn’t she deserve to be broken up with in the comfort of her own home? Wouldn’t it be nicer of me to make sure she was with her family when she reads the news?)

At which point she says, “I just wanted to tell you to your face.”

I look at her and all the possibilities are flicking through my head... What’s child support like in Argentina? Maybe I’ll get a job in construction… At least it (he? she?) will learn Spanish. What about English? When will it come to Canada? Will she have to come as well? How am I going to introduce her to my friends? She’s kind of old for them. What are they going to think of her funny hair? Her silly tattoos?

I glance at the bar mirror, and bathed in the yellow light from the TV, Duff beer in hand, I can’t tell myself from the Simpsons characters swarming all around us.

“I just wanted to tell you to your face,” she says, “that this isn’t easy for me. I already have a daughter... I had another, as well, a boy”—she doesn’t say his name—“who died when he was three. And I loved him, John”—she keeps saying mine. “He had cancer and I had to take him into radiation therapy. All his hair fell out... And his skin was so pale...”

“I stayed in the hospital every night in the children’s ward, where they keep all ones who are dying. And I watched them all die, John. There was a little girl... Do you know what that’s like?”

(I don’t).

She takes a deep breath. Her face looks old, the lines showing, and her eyes are grey and tired. I notice she hasn’t actually touched her beer or any of the food we’d ordered. There’s a paper napkin crumpled in her hand, the knuckles of which are white.

I can hear the pro-choice lines running through my head: It’s your body and I’ll support you to do whatever you want to. Ultimately you have to decide. But they don’t mean anything anymore, they’re just words said by people far away. They’re not about this. This is my child. And it’s right there, three feet away from me, inside Celia. I could reach out and touch it... But instead I pull back and my head fills with panicked iterations: This isn’t real, this isn’t real...

I see Celia’s hand begin to unclench and slowly, carefully, she smoothes out the napkin until it’s flat and perfectly square, then she looks up at me. 

“John,” she lets out a little snort-laugh, “I have a heart condition. I can’t keep it. My friend knows a doctor. I’m going next week... I just wanted to tell you.”

The doctor’s office is hidden in an apartment in rich Barrio Recoleta and they’re playing that Celine Dion song from Titanic in the waiting room. Celia hasn’t told anyone, so I’m the only one there.

The doctor jokes about how none of this would be necessary in Canada, then he takes our five-hundred dollars and goes in behind the curtain with Celia. I sit there trying not to make eye contact with the three other girls waiting their turns. One of them is with her father and he seems to be flirting with someone across the room. I can hear Celia and the Doctor laughing about something behind the curtain then the vacuum starts...

I pick up a Spanish copy of Youth Vogue and then feel guilty so I just sit there and try to concentrate on the noise of the vacuum. I can still hear them laughing but their voices are too quiet to make out any words. 

After some interminable amount of time, Celia comes out. She kind of sits, kind of crumples into the couch beside me, and puts her face in my lap. Her hand finds its way into mine and she holds it tight and stays there and just breathes for ten minutes, twenty, twenty-five...

When we finally walk out into the hallway, I think about David Foster Wallace and realize that I no longer need him to have died for my sins. An unborn child in Argentina has taken his place. Celia and I hold hands as we take the elevator down to the street.

//John Robson

Writer 

Comics

TO GONZO A GOD-KING Dalai Lama enlightens Vancouver

``There is no such thing as fame in reality. It's what's called a projection.'' So said Van Morrison on CBC's morning radio show Q on the same day I began writing this piece. It struck me as poignant, somehow resonant with the theme of the Dalai Lama Peace Summit that happened last week. In particular, it reminded me of the old monks' statement about the problem that humanity has with language and concepts: ``Some people call me God-King; some call me living Buddha; some call me demon... Of course these are all nonsense.'' While reporting on the summit, I couldn't help but notice how the panellists, speakers and spectators were all struggling with their own conceptual frameworks, trying hard to re-brand and redefine words like compassion, kindness and peace. The focus of the summit was to unpack our own language-bound, cultural paradigm and reorient our sense of identity towards a unity with the whole human family. For most participants of the event, that reconciliation will remain an isolated ideal.

On philosophy...

Thematically, the summit could be summed up by the Dalai Lama's following statement: ``The national boundary is meaningless... so therefore we really need a concept of the whole world considered as a we, part of my, part of me...'' He went on to mention that sometimes the leaders of the world must teach this, but sometimes they must also be taught by the common people. It is ironic that the ``common people'' were largely prohibited from this event, as ticket prices went as high as $200.
Regardless, concepts were cracked. Matthieu Ricard, a PhD cell geneticist turned monk, examined how the idea of inner peace interacted with creating an outer change in the world. ``We need outer peace, but if it doesn't start with ourselves, where do we go?'' He asked. ``War starts with a thought of hate ... People think inner peace, non-violence [are] sweet ideas, sort of weak and passive; I think it takes more courage for a Burmese monk, barefoot, to stand in front of the Burmese army than it is for someone to cowardly put a bomb in a car... '' Indeed, the focus of this portion of the dialogue refuted the possibility of outward change without a focused inner address on the thoughts which prompt activity.

While the speakers emphasized the need for outward action, they carefully steered the conversation to conceptual issues. Eckhart Tolle, author of the bestselling The Power of Now, said: ``There is a potential goodness and sanity in every human being... there is also an overlaying of madness, a dysfunction in the human mind... which prevents us from recognizing... other human beings and nature as part of who we are.'' Tolle went on to describe how this dysfunction gives rise to an illusion of separation, because when one person relates to another, we do it through a ``screen of conceptualization.'' On the level of thoughts, he pointed out that ``thinking, if you can observe it in yourself, that there is a voice in your head that never stops speaking... most people are so trapped in the thinking voice that that's their identity, that's the false self... you get an entire sense of identity that's mind-made. '' For Tolle, outward change is not truly possible unless it follows an intellectual examination of the thought processes, and more importantly, ``a dimension within myself where I am not thinking, where I am just present, spacious... here.'' He pointed out that without this examination and reconciliation we will necessarily perpetuate old conditioning, like cycles of child-abuse that flourish through generations of families.

The Dalai Lama took the point, recognized it as a particularly Buddhist way of thinking, and made a Yoda-esque amendment: ``Your explanation, more like philosophy.'' Referring to Tolle's description, he added ``thoughtlessness, I think, only for few people. Now we are talking about six billion human beings so thought also important! ... Investigation itself is kind of thought... The investigation is a unique thing...'' He refuted Tolle's idea of thought as a dysfunction, but said ``intelligence, whether it becomes constructive or destructive depends on... intention... [when] these two things combine, then our intelligence becomes constructive.'' He stated that, if the investigation process is instigated by feelings of anger or hatred, then what follows will be destructive. Going on, he described the basic oneness of the human condition and pointed out that our lives begin as babies, before thinking processes arise, and we know the affection and compassion of our mothers, first and foremost, as the ground of human experience. Therefore, it is better to focus on that common ground, rather than on the permutations that arise from conditioned mental states which manifest as competition, then anger, then war.

On the media...

The media waited outside the Chan Center, politely queued but impatiently fingering their shutter-buttons, lens covers, tripods and iPhones. A rare photo op was promised. Mark Leiren-Young, a columnist for The Tyee, would later criticize the event, saying that without offering journalists a chance to interview the speakers there was little opportunity for true reporting. Joseph Roberts, senior editor of Common Ground magazine, also had disparaging comments to make, stating that the summit label, dialogues, was a misnomer. ``There is no dialogue going on here,'' he said, noting that each speaker had their position and the aim was not to find commonalities. He pointed to the fact that Eckhart Tolle had very clearly articulated a key point about the mental causes of physical suffering, but that the Dalai Lama had the last word. He speculated on the level of orchestration, and on the intention of the event.

The CBC featured an article by the Canadian Press entitled ``Dalai Lama sees technology as peace threat''. This line referred to the quote: "I think technology may have some benefits for a smart brain but no capacity to produce compassion''. He stated that technology was a neutral force that could be made constructive or destructive depending on the intention behind it. To be specific, ``the machine has no ability to respond to that compassion.'' In this case, the Canadian Press spun the content to a sensationalist headline, prompting readers to respond with confusion. ``What is this man but a human fortune cookie?'' commented Zubov56 on the CBC website. In fact, this purposely controversial headline prompted some intelligent debate, but nowhere did I find anyone criticising the media's egregious manipulation of what appeared to be a straightforward message. When I asked a member of the Canadian Press team why they chose to spin the statement, he summarily dismissed my inquiry and kept walking. No comment.

The irony is that the article followed the Dalai Lamas address to the media, which offered two main considerations, focusing on social responsibility. ``The media... should have long nose, like elephant nose, then they should smell in front and often behind... media people should investigate everything... tell the truth, make clear what [is the] reality...'' In the case of the CBC article, clarity was dismissed in favour of fostering the attentive annoyance a reader would feel over having their favourite cell phone or iPod downplayed by their favourite celebrity. He further stated that sensationalism was also very important, but added that too much can lead to the impression that humanity is something negative. He warned that it could lead people to believe that the ``human future is doomed.'' He pointed out that media people overlook those who help others through compassion and kindness, and that these events don't often become news. All in all, the Dalai Lama reminded the reporters of their role and emphasized an overview – social responsibility, regardless of sensationalist headlines.

On the youth...

Standing resolute and determined, Tenzin Lobsang Wangkhang leaned intently over the display table; a group of red-robed Gelugpa monks smiled and laughed just a few feet away. She was calm, seemingly impervious to the joyful atmosphere provoked by the monks as they tracked their Lamas' progress from the Chan centre to the lunch room, herded by stone-faced security guards and scurrying camera operators (``Keep moving! Keep backing up! Don't make me move you!''). She is Tibetan but was born in India because her parents fled in '59, along with 100,000 other residents. She is now National Director of Students for a Free Tibet (SFA).

She explained that the SFA's methods are different from those of the Dalai Lama. Instead, they focus on Tibetans as oppressed indigenous people under colonial tyranny. In particular, they don't adhere to the Buddhist `middle way' approach, which is primarily a religious concept, emphasizing always choosing the middle path between polar oppositions; in Tibet's case, this manifests as choosing autonomy under Chinese rule rather than full separate independence. The Dalai Lama chose this route to protect the Tibetans from outright genocide, but Tenzin points out that ``there have been 1.2 million Tibetans killed since the Chinese took over and 6000 monasteries destroyed'' since the beginning of the occupation. ``The `middle way' approach means we would have control over Tibet but under a Chinese banner... SFT doesn't think that [approach] is best for Tibetans. It's difficult for us to fathom living under the Chinese flags when Tibetans have been oppressed for so long...''

She is particularly concerned over Canadian mining interests in Tibet. It is an issue that echoes around the conference from the corners of rooms or in hushed crowds, far from the carefully orchestrated carnival onstage. Mining companies like Hunter Dickinson's Continental Minerals are accused of exploiting the situation in Tibet for profit, capitalizing on the Chinese push to displace the Tibetans into refugee camps and to introduce ethnic Han Chinese people to the region via the recently built Tibet Sky railway. To complicate matters, news is strictly censored throughout China and Tibet, making it difficult to determine how bad the situation has become. The SFA has a hope, however, one they share with the Canada/Tibet Committee (CTC) who are on post at a nearby information booth: Bill C-300. The Parliament of Canada website describes it as: ``An Act respecting Corporate Accountability for the Activities of Mining, Oil or Gas in Developing Countries.''I asked a spokesperson from the CTC how this initiative fits in with the inner-change peace dialogues of the summit.

``[The Dalai Lama] can't be the hardcore political activist that a student can be... he's a monk... his duty... is to help all sentient beings be free from suffering... So the people here, they don't need to free themselves in a political struggle; they're looking for inner peace... Whereas groups like Students for a Free Tibet, groups like the Canada /Tibet Committee can discuss and raise concerns on a different level. They say, `Yup, inner peace is important piece of the puzzle, and it's absolutely critical' but right now, while a whole lot of people have not reached enlightenment, Tibetans are being killed. So we have to deal with those issues right now...''

I watched a new friend from the media scrum, Karen Chan, reporter from the Ubyssey, carry a small Tibetan nun doll in her backpack for most of the conference and I listened to her impressions. She carried a book about finding God in unlikely places and claimed, yes, she was Christian, but she had an open mind. The doll had been blessed by monks, and it was important to her. Her Chinese parents claimed that the Dalai Lama was a sly old fox, but she had an open mind... she wasn't sure yet what to believe. Her thoughts were not yet concrete...


On the Tuesday section of the dialogues, dubbed ``We'' day, the Dalai Lama gave some important advice to the youth.He spoke to 16,000 young people on the importance of creating change in their lives. ``You are the seeds of a better future,'' he advised. ``The 20th century had the most bloodshed ever. More than 200 million human beings killed through violent action. All were people just like us.''

And finally, ``Read and listen. Then, make your investigation. If you just accept everything, then your brain is wasted.''

//Kevin Murray
Editor

1935 – 14th Dalai Lama is born
1949 – Mao Zedong threatens Tibet with `independence'
1950 – Dalai Lama, 15 years old, becomes head of state
1951 – Tibet is forced to sign treaty ensuring Chinese occupation
and Tibetan freedom
1954 – China reneges on treaty
1959 – Tibetan uprising, thousands killed. International Commission of Jurists claim genocide
1960 – First famine reported in Tibetan history due to agricultural destabilization
1963 – Foreigners banned from Tibet
1965 – Tibetan Autonomous Region (TAR) established
1970's – End of cultural revolution; Han Chinese injected into Tibet; 430,000 Tibetans killed
1987 – Dalai Lama calls for peace
1988 – China declares martial law
1989 – Dalai Lama awarded Nobel peace Prize; Torture of prisoners reaches national attention
1992 – 10,000 Tibetan children in Chinese residential schools
1995 – China kidnaps Panchen Lama (a reincarnate leader) and replaces him with their own version
2006 – The Tibet Sky Railway is built. Han Chinese increase in Tibet
2008 – 5 months before Olympics, Tibet sees worst violence in 20 years
2008 – Britain recognizes China's sovereignty over Tibet
2008 – Dalai Lama accepts failure in negotiations with China
2009 – China appoints their Panchen Lama as spokesperson for China/Tibet relations
2009 – Chinese outnumber Tibetans in many border provinces
2009 – Approximately 1.2 million Tibetans killed to date